Long-distance call he won’t forget

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/06/2018 (2687 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I live far away from my boyfriend right now while he’s working overseas. I was desperate to make love with him the other night, and called him and asked him if he would make love by phone. He laughed at me. I said I was so hot for him I couldn’t concentrate on my work. He laughed some more but reluctantly said he would listen that evening after dinner. He said he couldn’t reciprocate because he would be back on duty at work and other guys might be around.

When I got him back on the phone after dinner, I tucked the phone under my chin, laid down on my bed and made love to him, letting my vocal reactions go into the phone line. He said nothing except a choked: “Thanks. I gotta go.” Click! The end. Was he laughing? Trying not to laugh? Why was he choking and running? I felt hurt and humiliated. I almost lost it, and was thinking of sending him a message to get lost and leave me alone forever! But something stopped me, I don’t know what. I did nothing because he’s doing difficult work overseas.

Later he messaged me and said that was the sexiest thing he had ever heard and that he will never forget it. He recorded the call but said he could get fired if anyone caught him with it and quickly erased it. I don’t know what to say to him.

— Solo Performer, Winnipeg

Dear Solo: Take the compliment, commit it to memory and feel good about it. The best fantasies can live in the brain forever — and that one springs from reality. He listened to your breath and your voice and words of endearment and he loved it. It choked him up, but not with laughter.

He had to destroy it, and you can understand why. But, you can be sure that when you are back together again, you will learn how to incorporate some of that into your lovemaking.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a wife of eight years with the man I’ve been with since I was 16. I’m in my 30s now and things are OK. My feelings for him are slipping away and I don’t want them to. I try my best to work things out but it leads to an argument. It’s not only me but him also. We are not sexual in any way. I try my best to be intimate, but he just isn’t interested anymore. Well, I have this man I really liked years ago and something has sparked between us. Should I ignore it or work on what feels to be nothing (the husband)? Please help.

— Discouraged Wife, the Maples

Dear Discouraged: Ignore it until you have had a few talks about the future of your sex life with your husband. He may be alarmed that you’d even mention it, but since the sex between you is 100 per cent missing now, it’s high time somebody said something. You might ask him where he’s getting his affection. Tell him you are lonely and need his touch.

If he says the sexual part of your relationship is over, and you have a steady job already, ask him if he thinks marriage counselling might help. Don’t mention your old boyfriend flirting with you. And don’t ask him if he’s tied up with another woman, because he might give a defensive answer which may or may not be true. Let the counsellor ask him the questions.

I don’t recommend starting a secret relationship with the sparky old boyfriend. Even after straying husbands are finished sexually with their wives things can come to blows and worse between a husband and the wife’s lover.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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