Don’t let heat wave ruin lake time

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This article was published 20/07/2018 (2997 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We are lake people. This summer has been unbearably hot and we rely on fans and breezes to cool off our cottage. I can’t stand it! I’m in the water five times a day. Air conditioning is not an option. I’m seriously thinking of taking the kids and going back to the city until it cools down. There we have air conditioning and life can be normal.

My husband has air conditioning all week and then comes out here for three-day weekends. He calls it Shangri-La. He gets respite from the heat at home and at his office. Last weekend, we had a big fight over nothing because I’m seriously overheated and sleeping badly. Hot, sweaty makeup sex? Not on your life! Any advice would be welcome.

— Hot Misery at the Lake, Manitoba

Dear Hot Misery: You want to sleep like a queen? There are many old-fashioned ways to cope with heat.

Thoroughly wet a sarong or a single sheet, wring it out, and place it over you with a fan blowing on it and you will sleep like a baby.

When you’re awake, up and about in the day, do what the cowboys used to do. Bandanas were not just for keeping the dust out of their mouths. They wet them and wore them around their necks with the knot at the front and the biggest part at the back of the neck to cool their systems down.

As for your sleeping hours, 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. is the coolest time to bed down. Trying to go to sleep in a warm room will cook you into a nasty mood. 

There’s nothing wrong with taking a few days in the city here and there, and your kids can catch up with friends when they’re back in town.

There’s no need to ruin a summer at the lake. Learn to cope with the heat in these old-fashioned ways as the sizzling summer of 2018 shows no signs of letting up.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I are a blended family; my kids are all over 20 and he has a 13-year-old daughter. When she comes over, she plays video games all the time, does whatever she wants, leaves a mess and then goes back home to her mom.

She can be really great and we try to do things that she will enjoy. We had planned a vacation for all three of us and it was somewhere she wanted to go. She didn’t know the destination as that was our surprise for her. A few days before we were going to leave, my husband received a text from her saying she had other plans with her mom and she was going there. When my husband refused that move, she sent a long, nasty text saying she didn’t feel safe with him anymore and would never trust him. It really hurt both of us. We went on the vacation anyway, because we couldn’t cancel at that point.

She is supposed to come over for the first time since then and I am having a hard time with how she has been allowed to treat her father in such a hurtful way. 

I love my husband dearly and want to have a good relationship with his daughter, but I don’t even want to be around her and told him I would leave for the weekend. Now, he thinks I’m abandoning him. I don’t want to be around her when I’m upset at how she treated him.

— Upset Stepmom, Winnipeg

Dear Upset: She may be 13, but you’re not. The early teenage years can be the most difficult age. You’d be creating more drama with your stepdaughter by running off and not facing her. That certainly wouldn’t model to her how a grown woman should act.

You can say your piece quietly if you like, but taking off for the weekend could set up a rift in her mind — and possibly in your husband’s. You’d better not abandon him either, if you want to keep your relationship strong. You could, however, leave for short periods and give the girl and her dad lots of time together. And consider this possibility: she may be thinking there’s a chance her parents could get back together if she breaks you two up.

Your husband will lose feelings for you if you clearly reject this young girl he cares about deeply. This is a predictable stage and it will pass. Take a deep breath and face her.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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