Keep mum about cheating sister-in-law

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This article was published 18/07/2018 (2996 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Well, I’m having a nightmare over my brother’s wife. They live a couple of houses away from me and I can see into their backyard. My brother is a bad drinker and a difficult man, known to be violent with his wife.

I’ve learned she has a lover. I watch the guy come and go, renovating their house. Last week, I saw them kissing in the backyard after her husband left for work. She works the night shift and makes good money; he works early in the morning, if and when he has a labour job.

Nobody normally kisses a workman hello! This guy arrived on the property two hours early, right after my brother left. I was sitting low on my steps, having a morning cigarette. That was some kiss! So now what do I do?

— Witness to Her Affair, Winnipeg

Dear Witness: Imagine you have just told your hard-drinking brother what’s going on. Does he get really drunk? Probably. Beat his wife? Walk out? Shoot himself? You think you’re doing your brother a favour by telling him what she’s up to? Your brother will dislike the bearer of bad news — and that’s you. Also, he may not appreciate being pressured to leave his wife after you tell him about it. He may actually have a suspicion and be looking the other way because his wife is a drunkard’s dream and supports him financially.

This might be a good time for you to turn a blind eye and let things work themselves out one way or another. This workman may nail his last board and be finished with the whole project. Or not. He and the unhappy wife may be in love and walk away together. She may have found a protector so she can safely leave her alcoholic husband. Either way, do you really want to make this your business? Not a wise move.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: How old and bitter about love are those parents who wrote about two beautiful young people who have known each other for years as friends and have found love next door at the lake. Her dad sees this as a tragedy and tells the boy to “keeps his mitts off” his daughter. Who does he want to be with his daughter?

As a parent who has seen many romances in my own children’s lives, I know you should embrace warmly the love of the season or year. He or she could be picking your personal care home in the future.

— S. B., Winnipeg

Dear S. B.: These teens who have been neighbours and close lake friends for years may end up as one of the lucky couples who fall deeply in love for a very long time or for life. In my response, I focused on pregnancy prevention as the only thing these parents should be concerned about. Otherwise, get out of the way.

By roaring at the boy to “keep his mitts off” — as if he’s a creep — Dad may have lost both his daughter and future son-in-law. Disrespecting both teens and attempting to rip them apart was a bad idea. It won’t work, to start with, and it will damage his relationship with all involved, including his wife. Most moms feel this way: “If you hurt my kids, you hurt me and you will be sorry!”

This grown man could repair a lot of the damage by apologizing to a boy he has known all his life and has now hurt and insulted.

The kids have distanced themselves and will probably tone it down in front of him. But that doesn’t mean the passion is gone — and forbidden passion is even hotter. They will have learned to be sneaky now.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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