Coffee-shop yakkers get her temperature boiling

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This article was published 02/08/2018 (2982 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a pretty easygoing lady, but this annoys me big time — people who yack and bray at top volume in small public spaces like my favourite coffee shop. They have naturally loud voices, and never seem aware anyone else is around and not interested in their private life. I pop into a coffee shop in a good mood and come out seething! I spoke to the manager once, and she just shrugged. How do I approach these ill-mannered people and get results without making a fool of myself?  — Need Earplugs at Coffee Shop, Fort Richmond

Dear Earplugs: You might chime in and offer unsolicited opinions on what the loud blabbers are saying. Start out like this: “Well, I guess this topic is no secret since you aren’t lowering your voices. I couldn’t help but hear your issues today and here’s my ideas on what you should be doing about them.”

That will be supremely annoying to the group, who will lower their voices next time you’re around. Do that with all the loudest regulars who sit near you to “yack and bray.” Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am a woman of 27. My girlfriend since high school and I went tenting together and we had a really great time — lots of warm, intimate talks and starry nights. On the last night, we got drunk on wine and she threw her arm around me, said she really loved me and kissed me right on the mouth.

I know she calls herself bisexual, but then a lot of women do that these days. It’s kind of cool. Alas, I am not bisexual or cool. Her kiss left me shaken, but not in a good way. I pulled away and said, “I’m sorry but I’m not into that.” She said, “This isn’t just sex. I really love you and have for years.”

A bottle of wine later, we’d pretty much talked it out and now it’s just like it never happened. Can I trust that she’s OK with this? Does it torture her to be around me, now that I have dashed her hopes of ever being anything but friends?  — Worried About Her Feelings, Wolseley

Dear Worried: Torture to be around you? Doesn’t sound like it. She has probably been rejected here and there by people in a much less caring way. If she’s fine with picking up and carrying on where you were before the kiss, then roll with it. She will be looking at finding another girlfriend for romance, and you’re back on the shelf marked Close Friends Only.

Consider yourself lucky she’s OK with all this and still your pal. For her, there may be peace in knowing it isn’t ever going to happen, instead of wishing and hoping for a chance at romance with you. It’s finally settled.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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