Ego bruised by admirer’s brush-off

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/08/2018 (2978 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Imagine my shock when I was sitting in the mall, minding my own business, when this man sat right beside me — so close, I could smell him (not a bad smell, just cologne) — and told me I was the most beautiful woman in the mall.

I didn’t know what to say, so I moved over about a foot. He said, “Don’t move! I’m not a stranger. I knew you in Grade 7.” He told me his name and I almost fell over. He was the class dweeb, a total brain with a bad haircut, freckles and glasses. 

Now, he’s all grown up with nice clothes, hot body, cool glasses and a great haircut. “Well, nice to re-meet you!” I said. “You don’t look at all like you did in Grade 7.” He said he had a crush on me in school and left anonymous valentines on my desk. 

I looked at the new him and said with a grin, “Well, maybe we should go for a drink someday.”

He replied, “Oh, sorry, I have a girlfriend right now, but where do you work? If I’m free from this relationship one day, I’ll give you a call.”

Suddenly I felt off-kilter, like he had all the power and I had just gotten the brush-off. It’s really bugging me and I don’t know why. I mean, who really cares?  — Wondering Why, Tuxedo

Dear Wondering: You care! It bugs you that he wouldn’t leap at the chance to have a drink with you. As a kid, he was low status and you were Queen of Grade 7 in his eyes. He had a big crush on you then, and it probably showed. It’s a powerful feeling to have an admirer like that.

Now, he’s a hot-looking grown-up man and you asked him out for drinks. I’d say that was a coup for him, whether he meant it to be or not. The nerd of Grade 7 turned you down, and you felt it.

The shift in power is what’s bugging you. What will you do if he frees himself and gives you a call? Let’s hope your ego isn’t so fragile you refuse a date that could be very interesting with a brainy, good-looking, confident man.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met another woman at the fringe festival after we kept on bumping into each other at the same shows. We both fought over front-row seats, became fringe friends and saw a number of shows together.

I liked her a lot and would like to be pals. We shared the same quirky sense of humour.

But then her holidays were over and she disappeared back to work. I’d like to be friends, but I don’t know her last name. Any suggestions? — Lost My New Pal, Selkirk

Dear Lost My Pal: If you want to make new friends — and all of us should continue to do this — you have to get on it while you can.

You really need to exchange information early. Some people make up social cards for themselves that include their contact information.

At this point, you might have to wait until the 2019 Fringe Fest to meet her again, and that’s too bad. You could try calling her at her workplace and ask for her by her first name. 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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