Beach kiss could cure her grief for husband

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This article was published 19/08/2018 (2966 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was on holiday at Lake Winnipeg and met a woman with a big dog sitting on the beach, watching the sunset together. I was sitting not far away and could hear her talking to the dog as if he were a real person. I was fascinated. I could hear her stopping and giving him time to answer her questions. I thought his mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear any speech.

A while later she turned and saw me staring and smiled. She invited me to join them. She introduced me to her dog, who had a human name — one never used for dogs. I confessed I’d been eavesdropping and wondered what the dog was “saying” to her. She laughed and said, “Nothing! I’m not crazy, just lonely. I pretend we’re having a discussion and I imagine what he might be saying back.” She said her husband had died recently, at a very young age, and she didn’t know what to do with herself.

Her openness and intimacy invited me to be truthful with her about my life and we ended up getting very close in conversation. Then she said no one had kissed her in the year since her husband died. We ended up kissing and couldn’t stop until the dog started barking. Suddenly, she was apologizing and racing off with the dog down the beach. I desperately want to find her again but don’t know how. What do you suggest?

— Pining For Sweet Dog, Lake Country

Dear Pining: Go back and stay at the beach for a few days near where you met her. Go to the same beach every evening at sunset and ask people in conversation if they know of the lady with the dog and its name. Make sure you ask in places where everybody has to go, such as grocery stores and restaurants. If you don’t find her after a few days, give it up. You don’t want to sound like a weirdo.

Frankly, it sounds like she’s not ready for a new man in her life. But you gave her a real kiss, which can be a form of resuscitation after the illness and death of a loved one. She may come back to life from her grieving faster because of that passionate kiss on the beach, and that may be all that you were meant to do with each other at this time. That doesn’t mean your paths won’t cross at a later date.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in love with a woman who has a husband who doesn’t want to have sex with her. He will do everything but have intercourse. That’s where he balks. They have kids together and he dotes on her and spoils her financially, but he has stopped having actual sex with her, seemingly for good.

My problem? I’m sitting on the answer to the mystery. I’m on the fringe of the bisexual world through my brother and he told me this woman’s husband is seeing a man secretly. I could so easily tell her and maybe I’d get my chance with her, but it would break her family up and the kids don’t deserve that.

She knows I’m available to make love with her at the drop of a hat, but she just looks over my shoulder at the horizon when I say anything suggesting it. We work together, so I see her a lot. Should I blow the whistle? Would she hate me for being the one to break up her marriage? Please help.

— Tempted to Tell, Winnipeg

Dear Tempted: It’s horrible being the last to know about your partner cheating. Most people hate being told, but they hate it even more when a friend as close as you are actually knew about it and didn’t tell her. Of course she’s going to go right back to him and have it out, but as a close and caring friend, you really should tell her.

As for trying to step in as the new boyfriend, that would be unwise, at least until some time has passed and she has sorted things out. But does she even want you? You won’t know until she gets past this painful mess. She may want no one, for a very long time — or she may want you to use for revenge.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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