Don’t let marriage revelation mar vacation fling

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/08/2018 (2969 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man on holiday in Mexico this summer when lots of Mexicans take their holidays by the ocean. Surprisingly, the hotels and resorts were not barren. I met a man in my hotel bar the second day and we agreed to meet the next day at the same time for happy hour cocktails.

We got along like firecrackers. He was from Mexico City and wore no rings, although he did have a funky bracelet. On the second-last day of my week there, I invited him up to my hotel room at 3 p.m and he left seven hours later. The same thing happened the last day and then, with great regrets, he kissed me long and hard and rushed off again.

On the plane home I looked him up on Facebook and found out he has a wife and kids. I private messaged him and gave him hell. He wrote back and told me his wife and kids were staying at his mother-in-law’s and that he had a separate room in a nearby resort.

He asked why I didn’t inquire about his marital status and said he took it for granted I didn’t care. “I just thought you were taking it as stolen time with me and the beautiful blue ocean.” He’s right. I never did ask. But why didn’t I? I usually am so careful and always ask at home in Canada.

— Tricked Into Romance, Osborne Village

Dear Tricked: You weren’t tricked, Señorita, but you also had an unusual amount of privacy for an undercover romance. There’s something surreal about being away on vacation when you can slip into a different persona, rather than the careful soul you may be at home.

Also, in Winnipeg there are only two or three degrees of separation with anyone you meet. You’re always bumping into people you know or who are related to your family and friends. But in Mexico you were in a foreign hotel in a foreign country with a hotel elevator up to your private bedroom.

How about you just accept that you didn’t want to know his marital status and spoil the budding romance. The reason you went looking on Facebook may have been that you wanted to break the spell, and not miss him too much after you parted.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think it’s foolish to celebrate our birthdays. It should be the mother celebrating. Instead I have started celebrating my new year! Every year we have a New Year’s party and it is way more fun.

— New Year’s Rocks, Winnipeg

Dear New Year’s Rocks: I don’t buy into your idea. When families are often spread across the country or the world, and so many mothers, after a certain age, have died, it just doesn’t make sense. And not every mother wants to celebrate the birth of every child, sadly.

The original idea of a birthday is to celebrate your own life on earth and the passing of time, and to become aware of special benchmarks, like earning a degree or having a baby.

Personally, I like to throw my own come-and-go party every year on the same restaurant deck and invite family and friends a week or so ahead. I’m really happy to be alive at this time in history, and I want to celebrate it. I know that I might have been dead in the pioneer era from influenza, a burst appendix, or simply giving birth. I have come to think of my birthday as a day to give thanks and celebrate with people I care about. I don’t wait around to see who will throw a party for me, as that is a sure route to disappointment and insecurity. And I don’t tell them NOT to brings cards and presents!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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