Don’t miss out on everything happening downtown

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/09/2018 (2920 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hate going downtown. I haven’t been downtown for years. I don’t want to park my car down there and have it vandalized and I don’t want any creepy people asking me for money. I also don’t want to run the risk of being attacked in the street. I don’t know why anybody would go downtown after dark for anything. What a foolish chance to take with your life! Why would anybody do it?

— Nobody’s Fool, Winnipeg

Dear Fool: Clearly you don’t live in the same Winnipeg most of us do. The centre of Winnipeg is not a hotbed of street fighting, thievery and murder. Thousands of people every week go downtown, park their cars, and go to restaurants, the theatre, concerts and outdoor events. In the summer evenings, it is light until 9 p.m. or 10 p.m. In the winter, it’s too darn cold to hang out in the streets looking for people to harass. If you’re so darn scared, enjoy our downtown by taking a taxi to and from your home in the ’burbs or parking your car in a garage with an attendant. You seem to think your attitude is smart, but you’re actually missing out on so much by being unnecessarily afraid.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a piece of clothing in the back seat of my car that obviously belongs to a woman much smaller than I am. It looks like a see-through slingshot. I don’t wear thongs myself. I suspect it belongs to my son’s older girlfriend. I doubt she took it off because of the warm weather — we haven’t had any. Since my son is taking chances of getting a very sweet woman of 22 pregnant, and using my car as the bedroom, we have a problem.

The trouble is he fights back. At 20, with one degree, my arrogant son he thinks he owns the world. He likes to remind me he’s “legal” now. She is older than he is but much more soft-spoken. I don’t need an all-out war with him. How should I handle this? I don’t want a fight while he’s living with my husband and I while he goes to university. By the way, my husband thinks this problem is amusing. He is completely unsupportive, and always sides with his son to be in his good books. You know, “one of the boys, wink, wink.” It makes me furious! 

— Upset Mom, St. Boniface

Dear Upset Mom: If you live your life without ever wanting to fight, you are in for a lot of anxiety. So get tough, knowing that your son loves you. All you need to do is hand your son the slingshot, and say, “I don’t feel comfortable with you using my car. I won’t be giving you the keys anymore.”

If he tells you that you can’t boss him around anymore, you just agree with him. Say to him, “Yes, you’re right, but that car is my personal space. You’ll need to buy yourself a car of your own.” Also suggest, given he’s so grown up now, that he should look for an apartment with his buddies, where he can do exactly what he wants and not make anybody else uncomfortable. At 20, he’s definitely old enough to move out. All he needs is two roomies and a part-time job, and he can handle himself financially, even if he’s in university. Every “kid” from the country and many city kids do it. So can yours.

As for your husband, tell him to get his son ready to be a man, and not a disrespectful boy. He needs to know he’s setting a poor example of how to work with his wife, not against her, when there are problems with the children. 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I heard a funny story about my closest workmate (a woman) and passed it on at a sport that a lot of people from the office enjoy. By the time it got back to our office and into the ears of our boss, it had changed considerably and my workmate got in trouble.

Like a fool, I admitted to my workmate that I had passed on the gossip, because I thought there was no harm in it. I didn’t know how much it would change before it boomeranged back. I guess I forgot that old gossip game where you sit in a circle and whisper some gossip into the ears of the person beside you and how it changes with each person’s telling. Please warn your readers what happened to me and also tell me what to do at work with this almost ex-friend.

— Shunned By Angry Friend, West Kildonan

Dear Shunned: Apologize in a few weeks and hope the trouble has died down. In the meantime, don’t try to initiate a conversation about this or any other issue not related to work. Give this friend time to miss your friendship, too.

If she doesn’t, the friendship could be over. Or it may be that she still wants to be your friend, but also wants to see you suffer some more. If you think that’s the case, tell her your suspicion. If she reacts coldly and doesn’t want to talk it out, it’s time to move on from this friendship. You will have grovelled enough.

Point out that most people who passed the gossip on didn’t have the guts to confess it so you’re not beating yourself up anymore.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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