Office flirt has him on the run

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This article was published 17/01/2019 (2787 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There’s a young woman at work who flaunts her body. We don’t know why she acts this way, but it’s like she wants every hound in the place to be baying at the moon over her.

She wears very revealing tops, skin-tight short skirts, dark stockings and high heels — not appropriate for office dress here, but there are no formal dress rules. She wears clothes you’d wear to a cocktail party or nightclub. 

She takes turns coming on to different guys, and for the last two weeks it’s been my turn. I have a young wife and two kids at home. She was leaning over my desk revealing way too much in her low-cut blouse when I finally said to her, “Just knock it off!” She knew exactly what I meant and she backed away.

I heard today she went down to human resources to report I was rude to her. With the #MeToo movement a lot of guys like me are worried about being reported for something.

How about reporting her? She’s completely inappropriate in her dress and flirtatious behaviour. Is that not sexual harassment? Should I talk to human resources on my own, or wait for someone in that office to lower the boom?

— Worried Male Employee, Winnipeg

Dear Worried Male: In your situation, you may have done the right thing by telling the office flirt to back off. On the other hand, she may have embroidered the story to make trouble for you at human resources.

Talk about this incident to your immediate supervisor, who may have already noticed what’s going on with this woman. See what your supervisor thinks about you going to human resources with your side of the story. You have more reason to complain than the young woman does, but you might make things worse if you don’t have backup.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend lives far away right now and I’m waiting impatiently for him to come home. My friends want me to start dating other people because it will be several years yet before he can return here for longer than a vacation visit.

I love him and tell my nosy girlfriends to stop bugging me about this. They shove Tinder in my face and tell me that “love is just around the corner.” But it’s him I want and I want to wait for him.

He’s working out of the country on a temporary posting, which will boost his career when he returns to Canada. I could go there, but it’s doubtful I could find work in my field. Should I stay or should I go?

— Starting To Wonder, St. Vital

Dear Starting to Wonder: You need to weigh three things: 1. What do you want? 2. What does he want? 3. Could you take a leave of absence, stay with him on a trial for a few months and still have a job when you return home? 

If he doesn’t want you to visit, then there is no point in going. If you are sure you don’t want to go, then don’t go. But if you are both unsure, why not give it a try and visit him for an extended stay? You may feel just as close, or one of you may have changed.

The situation you’re in now is the least appealing option. Be aware some people have joined their sweethearts in other countries and had wonderful experiences they remember for the rest of their lives.

Prolonged periods apart can be very difficult, as people in the armed forces can tell you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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