Lose wing man and learn to fly

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This article was published 18/01/2019 (2786 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My heart is a lonely hunter. I hate going alone to a bar or dance club. I seem to need a friend with me when I’m out on the prowl.

My best buddy is better looking than I am, which messes things up for me. No matter how hard I try, the woman of interest ends up trying to include my buddy in our conversation, then ends up dancing — and sometimes leaving — with him. Hey, ya gotta let the best man win, right?

So how can I be the best man? I don’t have an athlete’s body or the best features or thick hair like he has.

Do I have to go hunting with a loser buddy to get noticed for my average looks?

— Mixed-Up Lion, Southdale

Dear Lion: People say looks don’t count, but when you’re hitting dance clubs, women have three things to go on when assessing you — how you look, how you dance and how you flirt.

The two things you can improve quickly are looks and dancing skills. Sneak off for private dance lessons and find a hairstylist who can update your look. Then have a female friend take you out shopping for clothes that appeal to women.

As for the flirting, learn to ask women fun questions — nothing too personal — rather than bragging about yourself, which is what most guys do, to their detriment. You can beat this game, with a little work. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago and she managed to break into my house again. This time I found her sleeping in my bed. I woke her up with a glass of water in the face and chased her out, yelling that I was going to call the cops on her. She didn’t believe me. This is the third time she’s gotten drunk and found a way into my house. This time she got in through a basement window. She’s small, but very agile, and has the brain of a crook. She gets away with things because she’s cute and funny. But I know all too well she’s a royal pain — a liar and daily drinker. My mother was a drinker and a manipulator. I don’t want another one ruling my life.

She knows I’d never call the police on her, but how do I keep her out? It’s not like she even loves me. She cheated on me multiple times and always blamed it on being drunk and not knowing what she was doing. How do I get rid of her for good? I need to make it stick this time.

— Nice Guy, West End

Dear Nice Guy: She thinks you’re still hooked on her. And no matter your verbal protests, your actions are backing her up. If you really want to end this game, start with changing your thoughts. A few counselling sessions are in order to examine how you can change your behaviour.

You see, throwing a glass of water in her face and giving her a tongue-lashing are only part of the dramatic fun for her. And possibly for you, too. It’s weird she’s breaking in, yet you appear to be OK with it and don’t call the police. Klinic offers free walk-in counselling and their Portage Avenue location will be closest to you. Call 204-784-4067 for their hours.

If you don’t want to call the police, then at least see a lawyer for a stiffly worded letter to send her, outlining the charges she could face if she doesn’t cease and desist.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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