Daddy only has eyes for daughter

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This article was published 01/02/2019 (2774 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We have a new baby girl in the house and my husband is smitten. She grabs for his big nose and he melts. He wasn’t goo-goo over the two boys, who came first. I can see a big difference, sadly. I feel angry that he prefers his daughter to his sons and pays very little attention to them now. I thought it would wear off, but the more she grows and responds and laughs, the more enthralled he is. He won’t even allow me to get a babysitter for her so he and I can go out for dinner. Help!

— Hurting Mother of Three, Westwood

Dear Hurting: Hire a babysitter yourself and take your husband out for dinner. Then, ask him to stop down the street from your house, where you can park and talk. You need to find out why he’s suddenly come alive as a father of a baby girl, when he didn’t for your two boys. Ask him if he realizes he’s openly preferring the girl to the boys and the effect that could have on the family.

Talk to him about your own love relationship as adults. Maybe this sweet baby just hit him between the eyes and he hasn’t been able to see straight since. Help him to see what’s going on and find a way to make it a happy situation all around.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We can’t stand our Winnipeg cousins! Our twin mothers, who say they “adore” each other, are always visiting back and forth and making us come with them. My brother and I always get stuck having to entertain the city kids when they come out here to the farm. They are big hockey players and when they come out here, they always want to get a scrub hockey game going. We don’t play hockey.

They don’t want to do what we like, which is to go to our friend’s farm and play pool for money (not a lot, so don’t get your shirt in a knot). Our friend’s parents work in town at night, so we have the house to ourselves and lock the basement door so we don’t get any surprises — like if they should drop back to the house for something and we have some beer. The city cousins are only fun if we play a board game. Our mother doesn’t pay much attention to our complaints. Help.

— Resenting The City Cousins, Rural Manitoba

Dear Resenting: Since your common ground is board games, a multi-game tournament could keep you going for two afternoons and an evening, especially if there’s a prize at the end. You might form mixed country/city teams to stop the unspoken feud. Aside from old favourites like Risk and Monopoly, ask your cousins to bring any new board games they might have.

P.S. You’ll note I kept my shirt on in my response, but I’m definitely not impressed with your rude behaviour and snarky attitude.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There’s this man who leaves his curtains open with the hall light on and walks by the window stark naked. I can see it, so I’m sure my mom can see it, too. This idiot has a problem, I think.

My dad doesn’t seem to notice. How could anyone miss it? I haven’t told him yet because it’s weird, and what’s he going to do about it? Do you think the naked guy is doing it on purpose to show off to my mom, the only woman in our house?

— Yuck! Transcona

Dear Yuck: Tell your dad and mom at the dinner table and check out their facial expressions. You might be able to tell who knows, or if they both know already. Ask the one who seems the most shocked, “When are you going to tell this guy to close his curtains?”

If there isn’t an immediate response, offer to write a note that your dear old dad can carry over to the neighbour’s mailbox. I’ll bet your dad will start looking for his own pen and paper, as he can’t trust the words you’d use.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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