Time for a real girlfriend experience

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/03/2019 (2745 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My heart is lonely at the end of this long, severely cold winter. I’m young — in my 30s — and I don’t have a girlfriend. I didn’t go out much except to work, mostly because it was easier (and safer) not to take my beater out on -30 C nights.

My buddy introduced me to a woman who will come to “visit” and stay for the evening and have sex with you, for a fee. She only sees three or four people a week, so she’s not a real call girl. I found her fun and sweet and agreeable, and she seemed to enjoy the sex as much as I did.

Now that winter is just about over, I don’t really want the expense, but I still want her company. I asked her if she was interested in being my girlfriend exclusively. She said she likes me, but that it would cost $500 a week and she would need her weekends free.

I almost choked. I’d been seeing her once a week for $100. I was working up to hinting she should move in with me. I’m not sure what else to do. I don’t want her seeing other guys as my girlfriend, but I’m not used to paying a girlfriend either.

— Kind of Shocked, Winnipeg

Dear Kind of Shocked: The time has come for you to see your doctor and make sure you haven’t contracted anything from her or any of her clientele. You need to get back out there as a regular single guy and meet some women.

Face facts! She likes you, but you’re a customer and she doesn’t fall in love with customers. She has a life outside of seeing you and her other intimate “friends.” Were you about to suggest she live with you and pay half the expenses like a roommate? Good luck with that idea.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been reading what your readers have been saying about Indigenous people and I must admit we could learn a lot from them. I spent more than 30 years working in northern communities and have nothing but respect for the way they treat their elders. I would look forward to my trips north.

When back home in Winnipeg, I find the people very cold and distant. When out and about walking my dog, I will say “good morning” and eight out of 10 will just ignore my greeting. I say to my wife they should remove “Friendly Manitoba” from the licence plates.

— A Regular Reader, Winnipeg

Dear Regular: Hello to you, from me! Community warmth is a great thing, and it’s true we could do with more of it in our streets. I tried your experiment for one whole day after reading your letter and got the same result as you did. A couple of people said “hello,” but most people seemed shocked that I — a stranger — said anything to them. It was daylight! What harm could it possibly do to say hello to me? Is there anything we can do about this? So what do you think, dear readers?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just came home after driving in Winnipeg and it is the city from hell. I live in the country where people are courteous drivers, even on the highway. Driving in the city, I stopped counting after 10 drivers failed to signal they were turning. People just dart around left and right, like the life of the old guy behind them doesn’t matter.

I can’t read their tiny little minds! I stopped at amber lights and people honked at me for not getting a move on. The last straw was a woman who rolled down her window and hollered at me for going too slow. I’m older and if I didn’t have to go to the city for medical appointments, I wouldn’t go at all. Seeing my doctors regularly is literally a matter of life and death, but I’m risking death driving on city streets.

— Totally Frustrated, Morden

Dear Frustrated: Oddly enough, a driving teacher can show a good driver how to deal with the bad drivers on the road. Consider a lesson or two in the city and make a list of the problems you are encountering on city streets. And yes, dear sir, you will learn there are times when older folks are driving too slowly.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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