Straight talk needed to find love match

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/03/2019 (2432 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m hungry for a young, virile, woman-loving man. The trouble is the crowd I run with doesn’t offer up too many and I never know who’s into what.

I don’t want to ask people rude questions to ascertain if men are straight or not, but I don’t want yet another man who doesn’t know where he’s at sexually. I’ve had two now, and it never came up until we were knee-deep into the relationship.

Face it, I’m a boring heterosexual woman looking for a match and ultimately marriage with children. Should I find out right off the hop where a guy is at?

— Tired of Wondering, Downtown

Dear Tired: The trouble is too many people go from attraction to flirting to outright chasing, or it’s a fast mutual seduction, with no awkward questions asked to break the mood.

The best time to talk to somebody about their sexuality is well before things get serious and there’s an emotional relationship at stake.

Before people sleep together — and before they get drinking too much — it’s best to talk about their sexuality and where they are on the continuum. They also need to discuss what they like to do in bed and what they really hate.

Anyone who wants to explore anything other than heterosexuality will not be a good partner for you, so you need to talk truthfully early.

It’s not easy. It takes guts to have an open conversation that might abruptly cut off a promising attraction, but it’s much better than getting involved for the third time with a man who is not a sexual match for you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went back on a promise to go to Europe with my boyfriend and now he’s really mad. I don’t want to go to Europe — been there, done that, bought the T-shirts.

He’s never been anywhere and my conversation got him excited to go there. I’m not going twice! I really want to go to Australia and New Zealand next.

When I told him this, he was very disappointed and said he was not going to Australia where “everybody speaks English — boring!” Help! I love this difficult man!

— Travel Blues, River Heights

Dear Travel Blues: It’s time to look at a map together. Surely you can find a cool place to go together that’s new. If you didn’t visit all the countries in Europe, there are others you could discover together.

Listen, it wouldn’t kill you to visit London and Paris twice in your life! Could you not take that Australia and New Zealand trip with a girlfriend at a later date? When it comes to love, compromise is the name of the game. I presume you and this guy want to travel together for romantic reasons.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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