Over-protective dad irking young suitor

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This article was published 17/04/2019 (2719 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: What is the deal with dads who don’t want their daughters to have sex? I’m a young guy and I’m very respectful.

I understand why parents are protective, but at the end of the day, they were once just like us. I know my dad dated a ton when he was in high school and at university.

I’m seeing a girl right now and her dad tried to scare me pretty bad. It was the first time I came to the house, and he did that whole routine where he acts like his daughter is his princess and lets me know I’d better not be having sex with her.

I want all the dads out there to know you come across as weirdos! Stop thinking about your daughters having sex so much and trying to control it. These guys don’t care about their sons having sex, just their daughters. That’s weird.

How can I continue to see this girl — who I really like — with this going on? — Dad’s Wearing Me Thin, Tyndall Park

Dear Thin: Don’t be a suck-up, as Dad will jump on that as weakness. Try your best to make sure he knows your intentions are good.

If you like this girl, tell her dad and let him know you are a respectful guy. Ask him why he feels he needs to keep talking about this. Tell him it would nice to get to know each other and be friendlier.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a partner who’s lived off me because she’s had crappy jobs for many years. For the past four years, she went to university. She really convinced me she was going to get a good job after she graduated, but it’s been a year and she’s still not applying for better jobs!

I’m crazy in debt supporting both of us and paying off her expensive schooling. I need this to stop.

I feel like I don’t want to wait any longer, but have already invested so much into this relationship. It’s more than time for her to pay her share. I’m losing faith in her empty promises.

Should I stay or should I go? — Rising Resentment, Transcona

Dear Resentment: Some longtime students really enjoy getting ready for their up-and-coming career, but they’re kind of shocked when they have to hit the streets, land interviews and step into a real working role. They are stuck in student mode.

Your girlfriend is probably scared of facing rejection in a job that would mean a lot to her. You need to have a heart-to-heart talk about the fears she might have jumping in.

It may be as simple a fix as helping her prepare for a job interview, with you posing as a potential employer. Then drive her to her interviews and hold her hand all the way. Be her safety net and provide lots of encouraging support.

Once she is working and is paid well, get tougher. Insist that she chip in for living expenses and not simply pay off her loans while you continue to pay for everything else. The root cause of unhappiness for many couples is financial inequity.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live in a seniors community and women fight to sit with me at dinner. It’s embarrassing! I was never a playboy and now I have all of these ridiculous opportunities that a gentleman shouldn’t speak of.

I don’t want to eat alone, but I’m tired of being the centre of attention. I’m not used to it, and frankly don’t like it. I just want everyone to settle down.

How can I do this without hurting their feelings? — It’s Getting Ridiculous, Southdale

Dear Getting Ridiculous: You have the power to say no to anyone who wants to come back to your room. No matter how bold a certain lady may be — even if they follow you to your door after dinner — you can just say, “No, thank you,” with a kind smile. 

If they come knocking on your door with casseroles and cookies, thank them very kindly, and bid them a lovely day. They won’t be back with a second since that was supposed to grant them entrance to your suite. Pretty soon you won’t be as popular as you are now, so don’t be too rude.

Also keep in mind, you are the new guy on the block and things may settle down naturally over time.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. 

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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