Teach little brother to stand on own two feet

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This article was published 18/04/2019 (2729 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My brother is the kind of guy who always leeches off our parents. He’s the youngest (22) in our family of six kids. I’m the second oldest, and while the rest of us have decent jobs, my youngest brother is still trying to get our parents to pay for everything.

Last month he finally moved out (he has a job, just not a good one) and quickly ran out of money. He demanded, not asked, that our parents pay his rent “until he’s on his feet.” They’re unhappy about it, but said they think paying his rent might be the only way he’ll grow up.

We couldn’t disagree more. He claims our parents “owe” him for all the work he did around the house (which is a joke considering how lazy he is).

The five of us are livid and want our little brother to grow up. How do we approach him and our parents? — Somebody Needs a Smack, St. Boniface

Dear Smack: Keep your fists to yourself. Instead, you and another brother need to take Baby Bro out for a “friendly” drink and tell him how the world works:

• Unless he’s going to college or university, he has to support himself. Nobody demands his parents pay his rent because he did his share of chores around the house before he left home. 
• It’s expensive living on your own, so he needs to get a roommate or a second job. Many people first starting out often share a one-bedroom apartment with a friend. One person puts their bed in the living room while the other gets the bedroom. Splitting the rent frees up money for food and entertainment.
• He needs to learn to live on a budget. 

As for your parents, they need a lesson as well. You and a few of your siblings need to talk to them about why they should not be paying this young man’s rent. He needs to get a roommate now and stand on his own financially, or he will never be prepared to live in the outside world.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mom found out I use Tinder and freaked out. I’m 18 and she thinks it’s just a place for sex. While that may be true for some, most people don’t just have sex immediately after meeting on there. Why don’t parents do their research before getting mad at us?

People call it a hook-up app, but it’s just an app that shows you someone’s photos and what they’re into. I use the app to meet new people and make friends.

I’m of age; why doesn’t she just let me live my life? — Mom Doesn’t “Get” Tinder, Tuxedo

Dear Tinder: While it’s great you use Tinder to meet new people and make friends, there are lots of people who use the app for other reasons. Your mom is likely worried you’re being hit on by men of all ages who just want one thing. 

While you are 18 and should be allowed to live your life, your mother is showing she cares about you. So be sympathetic, and assure her you are being safe, rather than telling her off. Then maybe you can both relax and start enjoying each other more.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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