Tread carefully exploring workplace romance

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This article was published 29/04/2019 (2710 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am feeling lovesick over a man at work and don’t know what to do. I stay and help him after work and he doesn’t seem to notice the extra time and care I put in to ease his workload. Yes, he’s my boss. I have been half in love with him for many years.

Last fall, my husband died, and my boss and his wife divorced years before that. Now the feelings for my boss have surfaced so strongly it’s all I can do to keep quiet. We are both free!

I want to tell him how I feel, but what if he doesn’t feel the same way? Yesterday, he was bending over so close to me I could have turned my head and kissed him on the ear. Do you think he was doing this on purpose?

— Should I Make a Move? Industrial Park

Dear Make a Move: Look into your potential future. If you told him and he didn’t feel the same way, how would this affect your job? Would you be so mortified you would have to quit? Would he be so uncomfortable he would have to move you to another department, or stop being anything but cool and businesslike with you? Or would he laugh it off and say, “Thanks for the compliment,” but he’s not into it?

Look, he’s just as aware as you are that you two are both free now. You’d be better off — and much safer — to amp up the friendship, rather than declaring your long-standing love and passion.

Go slowly. How about getting a group together to go play pool after work, or, if he likes playing sports, join a baseball league? You could even get a few people to go out to lunch somewhere nearby — safety in groups.

Just don’t “lose it” and spill your emotions at work, telling him you love him madly.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: What does the game Post Office entail? I know what the game Spin the Bottle is, but not Post Office. As a teen I was not invited to play these games. I’m asking for a relative.

— Curious, Winnipeg

Dear Asking: Here’s some information for your “relative.” Lots of young adolescents have played kissing games like Spin the Bottle, but no one talks much about Post Office. It took a lot more daring and there was something potentially creepy about it.

First, let’s clarify Spin the Bottle for those who don’t even know about that. Boys and girls sit in a circle and spin a pop bottle in the middle. When it stops, the spinner has to kiss the person it’s pointing at, in front of the whole group. Usually, the person who has just been kissed gets to spin next.

The Post Office game, thank goodness, totally lost its popularity. It sounds creepy, especially now, when kissing is not so chaste, and group assault is more of a concern.

In Post Office, someone’s parents are out of the house. The boys and girls separate into a girls bedroom and boys bedroom.

Each person daring enough walks into the other bedroom or “post office” alone, and gets a kiss from every person there. Then the occupants of the other bedroom get their chance. When both parents were off at work, a “free house” wasn’t too hard to find.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for people who have doubts about whether this is still Friendly Manitoba or not. I have had several good experiences.

What really stands out happened at Superstore on Regent Avenue. I was having trouble walking because of arthritis and wanted to find a cola. A woman close by found it for me without request. We had a lot of close talk and hugged goodbye with some very warm comments.

I really would like to see her again and thank her. Hopefully she is a creature of habit and goes at the same time on Fridays. This is Friendly Manitoba.

— Bottom Line, Winnipeg

Dear Bottom Line: Well, your wish is out there now, sir, and who knows, one Friday you may run into the cola lady again.

Best of luck, and thanks for sharing your Friendly Manitoba story. There have been a few too many Unfriendly Manitoba situations in the news recently.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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