One-night stand scuttles romantic reunion

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This article was published 27/05/2019 (2685 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I made a big mistake and may never be forgiven. My girlfriend kicked me out with all my clothes and musical equipment and said she never wanted to see my face again. She took back her keys and locked me out.

I threw my stuff in my truck and drove to my buddy’s house. He said I could move in for “three months, no more” and take the bedroom in the basement. Then he made me give him money for the three months upfront with a “no return policy.” I was grateful and I went to the bank. I unpacked my stuff and laid down on the bed, so lonely for my woman.

Later that night, my buddy came downstairs, gave me a burger and fries and then hauled me out to the bar. I met up with his friends, had a few drinks, and then a woman came and tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I’d dance with her. I said, “OK, why not?” She was full of fun and we had a great time all night.

Then she asked me if I’d give her a ride home. Wow, just like that! We had a wild time all night and she cooked me a big breakfast at noon.

I went back to my buddy’s place that afternoon, only to find my girlfriend in his driveway in her car. She asked me where I’d been, and I said, “Out.” She said she had come to apologize and invite me back home. “But now I see you’ve been staying with some chick already,” she said. “You’re out for good!” Then she slapped me across the face, got back in her car and left.

Is there any way to salvage this? I still love her. The other girl was just a bandage kind of thing.

— Bleeding Again, Fort Garry

Dear Bleeding: The first breakup stab to the heart didn’t go in so deep you couldn’t go out to the bar and have sex with a new lady the first night of your suffering. You’ll no doubt recover again from the second stab and slap.

Look, neither you or the girlfriend are deeply in love anymore or you would have talked through it, all night if necessary, and never moved out.

By the way, if you two impetuous people do end up back together again, don’t try getting any of your rent money back. Your buddy took you in, in your time of need. That’s worth a lot right there.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Overall, my boyfriend and I are quite good-looking people, like 7s or 8s on the looks scale.

Recently, my guy has been giving me annoying “helpful hints” about things I could do to improve my looks. I don’t say anything about his faults, although he’s quick to tell me his own, fool that he is. That lowers my feelings about his looks. For instance, he’s so tall and I’m so short, I didn’t even know he had a bald spot starting until he showed it to me. How can I get him to shut up about personal appearances?

— Feeling Self-Conscious Already, North End

Dear Self-Conscious: Explain to him that criticizing a lover about their looks makes them self-conscious, and pretty soon they won’t want to be naked in front of you unless the lights are off. What a waste of times and places to make love. Tell him he’s free to criticize other people’s looks to other people, but you don’t want to play that game.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to my cousin’s cottage with her friends (we’re all around 18) for a big sleepover, with no parents. These girls got pretty drunk. By midnight, I had toilet paper stuffed in my ears and was trying to go to sleep because I don’t drink. I woke up because of the noise around 2 a.m. and overheard a conversationabout me, led by my mean cousin. She even imitated the way I talk (I have a speech impediment) and they all laughed at me. I was so hurt!

None of them liked me in the first place, but my aunt said my cousin had to invite me because we’re only children and “only cousins” and should get to know each other better. Well, now I know exactly how my cousin feels about me. I hate her and never want to talk to her again. Should I tell my mom who will quickly call my aunt and raise heck, or keep it a secret?

— Hurting Big Time, Winnipeg

Dear Hurting: It’s too big and hurtful a secret to hold inside. But you’re probably right about your meddling mothers, and it’s too soon to tell them, as they might try to make you get together for an embarrassing (and fake) apology.

Consider telling your dad instead. He knows the parties involved in this problem and might know how best to resolve this. As for your mean-mouthed cousin, it would be good for her mother to know what she did one day, but not too soon. Let yourself recover your cool.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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