Don’t suffer alone in grief

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/06/2019 (2655 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m not a religious person. Living out near Steinbach, I can’t find anything for grief counselling that isn’t run by a church.

I lost my husband and it’s so hard. He had a heart attack and I found him, too late. I know I need help to work through this and I don’t know where to go. Please, can you help me?

I’m so lost and feel so alone, even though I have friends and family.

No one I know has lost a spouse and I know they are just trying to help, but often what they say makes me want to just scream.

— Lost My Love, Steinbach area

Dear Lost My Love: In Steinbach, you can call the Crisis Response line at 204-326-9276 and ask for the resources department. This unit is not faith-based.

Tell them you are struggling with bereavement and request a home visit.

People can also stay at their stabilization unit for around-the-clock support, but it really sounds like you need someone to come out and see you.

If you prefer to come to Winnipeg, please write back, as there are other bereavement groups and services here.

Part of the problem is feeling socially isolated in your grief. If you want to join a group of also-bereaved understanding folks for dinners, Adventures For Successful Singles offers a special group in Winnipeg. Call 204-775-3484 for details. Some members of this group also go to dinner and a movie every Friday at different locations.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Protective Father, who doesn’t want his daughter to become a plumber and be “hit on” and treated badly by sexist men in the trade. (Miss L. told him things have changed in the trades, but his daughter might make him feel more comfortable if she took self-defence classes.)

I just thought I’d add my two cents. Human resources departments at larger private companies are light years ahead of where they were years ago in terms of not tolerating disrespectful behaviour. Also, there are large public institutions with in-house trade shops.

These institutions have well developed HR policies and supports, and I’d like to think a respectful workforce, as well as competitive pay and great, family-friendly benefits packages.

I’d have no concerns supporting my young children if they chose a trade.

— Regards A.K., University of Manitoba

Dear A.K.: Thanks for another dad’s calming perspective.

To be fair, there have been a lot of stories of abuse directed at both women and men in different areas of work coming to light in the past couple of years, so no wonder Protective Dad is scared his daughter will become another #MeToo victim.

He can’t be with her all the time now that she’s grown up, and it’s up to her to get tough so he can relax.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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