Don’t jump the gun – just let bond grow

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 01/07/2022 (1571 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend proposed to me on July 1 last year, and I turned him down. He was badly hurt and embarrassed as he’d told people he was going to do it during the fireworks.

I refused him because we were both unemployed at that time of the pandemic and we’d only known each other for three short months.

He walked away crushed, and didn’t call me again until September. Now it’s 10 months later and we’re both employed again and deeply in love. But he said a while back that he wouldn’t ask me to marry him again — for a year.

Should I just ask him during the fireworks to get past that bad experience?

— I’m Ready Now! Charleswood

Dear Ready Now: If you do the asking, then you’ll have controlled both engagement-asking situations.

Let the fireworks blow by, and give the relationship time to grow even stronger. You can let your guy know by your behaviour and words of love that you will say yes the next time he asks.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My dog is freaked out by fireworks blowing up at Canada Day parties held next door to our acreage. Our poor doggy gets so frightened he literally shakes. His eyes bug out and he looks around wildly for help, all the while crying piteously.

I wish people would understand how serious it is for helpless animals when it sounds like something terrible is coming to attack them and their home. They are small and terrified!

We live on the edge of the city and the neighbours have blown fireworks off for up to an hour some years, without being stopped by anybody.

This year will be a huge display to show off to their friends, as lots of people will come out to party again now the worst of COVID seems over.

Oh, yes, we have been invited — a courtesy, I presume. We refused, as they knew we would, and we gave the reason for it — again! They didn’t say anything back. We can’t get away from this party if we wanted to! Please help.

— Ka-boom! Winnipeg outskirts

Dear Ka-Boom: Actually, you could get away if you wanted to. Find out what time the fireworks are slated to start and tell the hosts you’ll be putting Fido in the car and taking off in the opposite direction for a late-night ride.

It’s much like taking a crying human baby who can’t sleep out for “the midnight special” car ride. Roll up the windows and play soothing music, and your fur baby will magically nod off to sleep. “Zzzz” is a beautiful sound.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My family wants me to go to college or university when I graduate high school — not just my parents, but my grandparents too. We are a multi-generational family who live in the same house.

I have no interest in higher education, especially with so many places offering online learning. I could just as easily teach myself, using online resources if I want to learn something. Why would I pay them for an archaic learning method just to get a piece of paper?

I want to travel the world, discover myself and then settle down and start a career. My family has made it clear they’d basically disown me if I did that. I don’t want to be hamstrung by pressure from generations past, so how do I do this without losing the family I love?

— Future Road Scholar, The Maples

Dear Road Scholar: It’s true you can learn a lot on the road travelling the world, but it’s harder to get a great job and earn decent money without higher education — and proof of it.

That may not be true in some careers, but you need serious study and on-the-job training in most professions, especially those involving life and death.

Computer know-how will help to get you a long way when you’re studying, that’s true, but you can’t challenge every exam without taking the actual courses, learning important techniques and how to work in concert with people.

By the way, 18 is too young to be travelling the world, country to country.

Please send questions, comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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