Girlfriend’s resolution is to dump cheater
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/12/2015 (3563 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was not a very good boyfriend this fall. I cheated once when I was drunk at a party and got caught. Then I read an email my girlfriend wrote to her best friend at the beginning of December that said her No. 1 New Year’s resolution was going to be to kick me to the curb when the holidays are over.
I’ve tried really hard to be the best boyfriend possible since then, and she hasn’t made any hints about kicking me out of her life. Does this mean she’s changed her mind, or is she just faking it so she has a nice time until after the big New Year’s dinner and dance and hotel room I rented and paid for? Would it be smarter to wait to see if the axe falls, or to ask her outright now if she’s dumping me? It’s driving me crazy! I am hopeful, but also nervous inside.
— Gut Ache Every Day, Winnipeg
Dear Gut Ache: You are crazy about her, so give it your all and see what happens. She may have forgiven you already. Since you love her, don’t mess that up by jumping the gun and forcing her, out of pride, to stick to the New Year’s resolution she told her best friend. If you ask her now and she dumps you right there, you exchange a gut ache for a heartache.
So zip it! But, if things seem to be going south the week after New Year’s and you have a clear sense a breakup is coming, request a serious state-of-the-union talk. If she is negative, but opens the door to counselling, leap on it. Counsellors are trained to save relationships, but also to help people end them civilly if that’s what one or both of the partners end up wanting. She may have tried to get past the cheating, but simply can’t. That’s your fault, and you may have to accept it.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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