Establish rules to determine master of your domain

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/03/2016 (3843 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend and I are kind of crazy people. We made a bet as to who could go the longest without sex, up to a week (as we are very sexual people). The winner got a night out at an expensive restaurant. Well, I wore the sexiest black lingerie, stockings and boots on the second night, and he caved. He called that cheating. I say I was smarter than he was. What do you think?

— 50 Shades, Island Lakes

Dear 50 Shades: The referee (moi) rules he doesn’t owe you a dinner yet, unless you go a second week and he loses. You need to agree on the game rules first: either you both use dress-up and props to entice, or it’s a totally bare-skin contest for both of you. Got that? Report back!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a guy when I was travelling in Spain. I broke off from my group and travelled with him on his motorcycle. We became real friends and lovers. We fell deeply in love. He wanted me to live with him in Spain and get married. I was scared. I said I did not want to break away from my homeland and my family.

He has a good career in Spain and was not about to give that up, plus his English was not that good and he wouldn’t be able to get a job in his field at that level in Canada right away. I came home broken-hearted. The effects of this choice will follow me a long time. He says the offer to come to Spain and marry him will be open for a year, then he will have to heal his broken heart. Do I want to be an old maid living with my family when I’m 50? I am already in my 30s. What do you think?

— Miss My Man Terribly, Winnipeg

Dear Miss My Man: Your man? That indicates a level of commitment you haven’t faced up to yet. I’ve known lots of people who have moved to a different country for love. At first, it’s hard living in another country, but with the amount of Skyping people do and yearly visits back and forth, it doesn’t seem so bad. After a number of years, people who move feel their new country is more “home” than back home, except for missing family. If this is possibly the man for you, take a sabbatical and go back and have another real look — live with him and really get into it. This is not a man without means, so you could travel, too, and wouldn’t be cut off. Your family might also enjoy going to Spain.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography