She has her cake, and eats out, too

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/04/2016 (3787 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Lonelyhearts: My husband came home very late at night wearing two men’s shoes that didn’t match. When I asked him why, his face went red and he said, “Oh, I must have worn one of two different pairs out tonight.” I said, “Let’s go have a look in your closet!” in my scariest voice. Suddenly he was stammering and, of course, there were no matching shoes to the ones he wore home.

I’m a smart woman and have been living with this cheater for 15 years. I looked at him and said, “I bet I know whose shoes those are.” Then I picked up the phone and called his last known affair’s house. It rang and rang and rang. The next day I went over and left the two mismatched shoes from my husband’s feet, on her back step.

You may be feeling sorry for me because my husband is a longtime cheater and I know about it and haven’t left him because I don’t want to. He makes a lot of money, we have a great lifestyle, he’s good to the kids and decent in bed. But, here’s the part that really works for me — for the last 13 years I have had a lover he doesn’t know about. I don’t feel one bit guilty about that. Besides, when my husband gets caught, he treats me real nice and I usually get a vacation out of the deal, lots of flowers and very sweet treatment for several months. He doesn’t want to lose a second wife and another set of kids. His business associates really like me and I entertain for him in big style, which brings him more business.

I just get so tired of these ninnies who write in to complain about their straying husbands. Get a private life of your own, ladies, and you won’t have to worry about it! — Even Playing Field, Winnipeg

Dear Even Playing Field: This wouldn’t be everybody’s style but it seems to be working for you just fine. Be careful where you brag about it. That may be your downfall.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography