Catholic husband offers confession about protection

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This article was published 07/09/2016 (3666 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I know sex isn’t the most important thing in the world, but it is when you’re not getting it. I’ve been in that frustrating position now for a whole year. I love my husband like crazy, but he won’t give it to me anymore. I’m an old-fashioned Catholic and believe in marriage, that love is forever and also for better or for worse.

Ever since we had our last child, there has been no more sex. None! My husband says he doesn’t want any more children with his salary stretched to the limit. I don’t work. Five kids need their mother at home, don’t you think? To be true to my religious beliefs, I have always said we must take whatever number of babies God gives us.

Then hellfire broke out. I just found out my husband has not been doing without sex, like me! He has a sex buddy on the side. When I confronted him, he said, “She doesn’t mean anything to me, but she’s not an old-fashioned Catholic and she uses protection.” I cried and cried. Now what can I do? I love him and crave his kisses and beautiful body every night. Help! — Religious Beliefs, or Sex With My Man? Winnipeg

Dear Beliefs or Sex: Five children is a lot of babies to bring into the world these days. Some people would say that’s enough to satisfy your religious duty. Some might also say it’s worse to split up this big family and deprive the five kids of a father than to stick by these old-fashioned beliefs. But, you have to come to this decision all by yourself.

Now this other woman has come to light, it’s time for you two to go to marriage counselling and maybe talk to some modern Catholics about how they work with this issue. Is a vasectomy out of the question?

What do my readers have to say to this distressed wife? Please to write in to the address below and share your experience and solutions.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man who claims daily that I am his love at first sight. We’ve been with each other for six months. I moved in at the beginning of the summer, but now I’m getting sick and tired of all this ultra-romantic talk. I haven’t even decided if I really love him, although I admit I say it back to him to shut him up. But, I’ve found the more he says it — up to 10 times a day — the less room I have to feel anything. This morning he got really mad and said, “Tell me why you don’t love me the way I love you! Don’t I treat you like a princess?” It burst out of me, “I feel crowded by you and your massive feelings and your neediness.” He started to cry.

I went to see his sister I’ve just gotten to know, and she said that I am not the first one — he does this with every girlfriend.

I’m shattered and feel like I’ve been manipulated because he just needs a woman to love him — any woman. I’m packing while he’s at work today to avoid a horrible scene. Do you think I’ve been deliberately fooled by him? — Just Any Woman? Downtown

Dear Just Any Woman: No, there’s a good chance this needy man actually thinks he’s in love with each new woman who comes along. No doubt he’ll fall in love very quickly once there’s a vacancy in his love life. People like this man can’t stand to be alone, and get very anxious. That’s why they jump from one “love at first sight” to another.

So, what were you doing moving in with him so quickly? You admit you’re not in love with him. As a rule, people should at least go around the seasons with someone to find out what they’re really like, and also feel they’re mutually in love before moving in together.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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