Don’t get all twisted over younger sister

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/09/2016 (3303 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m crazy about a very sweet girl and her sister.

They are so much alike I have fallen in love with both of them, although I am only dating the older one I met first.

When I go to her farm to pick her up, I’m always eager to see the sister, too. They are close in age. They are look-alikes though, and I just love that look.

Both are funny and a bit awkward, with long, skinny legs and long hair, and they kind of remind me of colts.

I thought of bringing my buddy with me the next time I go see my girlfriend because it is difficult for me, with the sister being single and hanging around. I can tell she would like to come with us sometimes when we go out somewhere fun, but I couldn’t handle having both of them in the same vehicle with me.

How do I get over my crush on the second sister? — Feeling Guilty as Sin, Rural Manitoba

Dear Feeling Guilty as Sin: Would it help to know you could ruin the relationship between these two girls who love each other more than you will ever love either of them?

You could blast them apart, and it would be terrible for them, for their family and for you. It’s like someone offered you one of two wonderful gifts, and you could only pick one. If you pick both, you lose everything. The stakes are high if you mess up. Remember, life is like this — full of such decisions. If you want something valuable, you just can’t be greedy.

So stay away from the second sister. Don’t flirt with her, and don’t take her anywhere with you and your girlfriend. Don’t try to line her up with a buddy because double dates would be natural, and a disaster for you and everybody in the end.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I woke up to a strange sound coming from the bathroom. My new wife was singing in the shower. In our three years living together previous to the wedding, I have never heard my wife sing. She told me she was a terrible singer. She was right.

There are no other words for it, as she’s completely tone-deaf, and the quality of her voice is almost witchy. She is a heavy smoker, if that helps you to imagine. She sounded like an old engine starting up.

At first I laughed, and then I realized how traumatized she must already be from her younger years at school, and I didn’t say anything.

When she came out of the bedroom, she was startled to see me awake, and she said, “Oh my God, did you hear me singing?” I told her yes. She asked what I thought. “I’m a terrible singer, aren’t I?” I was so stuck for words I said “Well, you are an unusual singer, but I’m glad you feel you can sing in front of me now.” She said, “I will never sing in front of you again!”

Then I knew it was the wrong answer. What should have been my answer? — Can’t Win for Losing At This, River Heights

Dear Can’t Win: This is a very difficult question for anyone to answer, but I will try.

I think a slightly funny outright lie would have been the answer, something like. “My darling, I love every single syllable that drops from your lips. I love everything about you and I seriously think you should audition for the opera.”

She would have laughed, kissed you, and been on her way. Or maybe that would backfire! Do any of my readers have a different answer that might have worked? Please write to the address below.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography