Ugly feeling about face-to-face interviews

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This article was published 08/11/2016 (3600 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have trouble getting a job because of how I look — butt ugly. Once people get to know me, they like me because I’m lively and funny, but I’m not pleasing to look at. I’m fat, don’t wear makeup and have hair that is thinning badly. Looks shouldn’t matter, but they do.

Lucky for me, I’m really good at telephone sales because people can imagine me any way they want, but that work doesn’t pay enough. I can’t get past personal interviews to get most outside sales jobs because I look kind of unappealing. I’m not crying; I’m past mourning my ugly mug and wispy hair. But what can I do to pass job interviews?

I inherited a fair bit of money a few years ago, so I can survive, but I still need to work to be connected to people. I want to be able to travel the world on holidays and drive nice cars. Is that too much to ask? I’ll never get a husband looking the way I do. I know that.

— Ugly Mug, Winnipeg

Dear Ugly Mug: A useful motto is, “Stop doing more of what doesn’t work.” Say goodbye to face-to-face job interviews. How about starting your own business with some of your inheritance money, one that relies on online sales and shipping out the product? The harder you work, the more you’ll make. If you expand, hire people to do the shipping and train sales people your way.

As for how you look, at least buy a natural-looking wig, fun hats and wear a little lipstick to make you look as lively as you are. And for fun experiences shopping as a large lady, check out stores such as Addition Elle and Pennington’s in Winnipeg, or Lane Bryant in Grand Forks and Fargo, N.D. You don’t have to be a movie star to look lively. And you may want to check with your doctor about your thinning hair, a symptom of many different illnesses and conditions.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just wanted to chime in on Married the Wrong Brother in rural Manitoba, who described her husband’s older brother as having more heart, soul and intelligence, and as being deeper and artsier than her husband. Your answer only addressed what the woman wanted to do, instead of what needed to be done. You didn’t mention anything about why she loved and married her husband and what can be done for her to appreciate the uniqueness of her husband.

This woman suggested the older brother was “looking back at her.” If he really had more heart, soul, intelligence and so on, he wouldn’t be putting his eye on his younger brother’s wife. Any chance the older brother is a deeper, smarter and artsier candidate went right out the window for me as soon as I read that. Intelligence includes respecting others’ relationships and knowing what is not for you to have — ever.

—J., Manitoba

Dear J: It’s quite possible the lady who is attracted to her husband’s older brother is imagining he’s looking at her with lust in his eyes. Wishful thinking is common in these situations. She may be staring at him, and he’s looking at her wondering why she has a strange look on her face. Or she could be right and he is staring back at her with longing.

At any rate, people are unfortunately attracted to the people they’re attracted to. It’s usually not a decision, as you think. Reviewing her own husband’s qualities, which I’m sure she does when she’s feeling the heat, doesn’t seem to be enough to keep her steam from rising. She should keep the crush a secret and stay away from the forbidden other.

Send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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