Make family aware of health-care wishes
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/11/2016 (3617 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m over 80, and when my time comes I hope I pass away quietly in my own home. I understand if my family were to witness my death they would be obligated to call 911, and despite having documented non-resuscitation on my health-care directive, an attempt to resuscitate might be made. Is that accurate? — A Concerned Senior, Winnipeg
Dear Concerned Senior: Many seniors have a signed health-care directive in a pouch or envelope on the fridge to back up their wishes and directions, especially to do with resuscitation. It is something anybody can do and sign themselves, and they are available from fire stations and physicians. The fridge is the first place first responders go to see if there is a resuscitation order, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a copy on your bedroom door as well if there’s a big commotion going on.
You should take your health-care directive with you when you travel and carry it in your purse. Palliative home-care nurses also carry them.
You should tell relatives who see you regularly what your wishes are and why. This is especially important for the people who check on you. It would also be good to be attached to a service such as Victoria Lifeline so you can get immediate help should you fall, break a leg and be lying on the floor. You might live another 10 years or so, and not want to die because of a fall.
I appreciate that you might want to die quietly in your own bed, but it’s not fair to your friends and family to become ill or have a heart attack and not be found for days, or for you to have a fall and be on the floor. That could be a long-lasting trauma all round. Have a frank discussion with your immediate family, especially the ones you think might be against your wishes, and ask them to respect what you have decided.
Some people get a letter of expected death from their physician if they have a serous illness and death is imminent. That letter is also kept in the home, with the health-care directive. It avoids the police and coroner investigation. You can read more about advance care planning on the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority website at wrha.mb.ca.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My heart is aching because the woman I love left me for another woman. I’m panicking because as a lesbian in Winnipeg it’s not easy to find another. Most people find one woman to love, and hang on because it could be a long time until you meet another mate. Mine left to go back to her first love from her hometown. How can you fight history? I would wish them well, but I’m hurting too much. Help! — Lonely Lesbian, Winnipeg
Dear Lonely Lesbian: Out There Winnipeg is a sports and recreation group for the LGBTTQ* community in Winnipeg. You can subscribe to their mailing list to get the latest news for each of their sport groups at outtherewinnipeg.com. Rainbow Resource Centre offers friendship and activity groups, so check out rainbowresourcecentre.com. And when you’re ready, there are also lesbian personals for online dating. Search for “women who love women” as a way to get started, and narrow it down to a few good sites and regions close enough to Winnipeg for real-life romance.
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