Mating rituals of animals turns man off kinky sex

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This article was published 21/05/2017 (3094 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend wants to have kinky sex.

I’m a farm boy, and after witnessing farm animals mating, which looks nasty and painful, I’m interested in sex-with-romance in my own life.

She’s received a lot of hearts and flowers from previous boyfriends because she looks and acts like a princess.

The other night she shocked me when she told me she wants to get into S&M and for me to be the scary, dominant male.

I don’t want to hurt any woman physically or in any other way, but I’m already in love with her. I’m afraid if I don’t go along with this, she’ll break up with me and find someone else who will be into bondage and who knows what else. What should I do?

— Not a Mean Guy, Rural Manitoba

Dear Not a Mean Guy: Find out if she’s ever experienced any aspects of bondage and discipline.

If not, this may be an experiment, and who knows if she will enjoy the reality of it. As with other sexual experiments, it may end up silly or awkward, and neither one of you will want to do it again. Or, she may love it and want more. That will be your cue to saddle up and ride into the sunset in search of a gentler princess type. Nobody should be involved in a forced sexual style they don’t enjoy and makes them feel badly.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-boyfriend phones crying in the middle of the night at about 3 a.m. when he gets off his shift and arrives home because I dumped him for the second and last time, for cheating. “But you’re the only one I love,” he whimpers. He thinks I’ll relent like I did before, but he got two chances and showed me there’s a pattern. I asked him a few more questions, and it turns out his old girlfriend always let him come crawling back if he showed enough remorse. She took him back over and over again.

Yesterday, I shouted, “Go back to her then, you creep,” and he sobbed that he only wants me, his heart belongs to me and that he loves me. What should I do about him? He won’t go away, and he phones me all the time, even at work, and cries and begs at night.

— Upset Every Night, Weston

Dear Upset Every Night: Don’t pick up the phone! You know it’s him but you still answer it, probably because the begging is good for your bruised ego. Tell him you’re going to stop answering the phone.

Clearly, he’s a drama king. He enjoys everything about hot beginnings and cheating in a cloak-and-dagger fashion with others when it becomes routine with his main woman.

He loves the big upset of being caught and the challenge of trying to think of ways to reel the hurting woman back in. The big payoff is finally getting her back.

In your case, he thinks his chances are good because you relented once already, and you’ll listen to his pleading and promising every night. He’s looking forward to the makeup sex and the honeymoon period afterward, which is almost as exciting as the weeks after he first met you.

Then it gets peaceful again, but to him that equals boring, so it’s time to start the drama again with some cheating on the side.

Stand up for yourself. It’s time to get rid of him, with zero contact. Let him go totally. Don’t respond to anything on the computer, either. Block him from Facebook. Don’t read a hand-written letter, either.

If you do speak to him, say in a bored, level voice, “I’m just not interested anymore,” then hang up.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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