Teeth served as barrier to block intimate kiss

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/06/2017 (3341 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a good-looking guy, but last week I kissed this beautiful woman and it was terrible. I outlined her lips with my tongue first, but she wouldn’t let me in. Her teeth were like a fence. I’m too old to want to pucker up and dry-lip kiss all night. Any advice?

— Great Kisser, Downtown

Dear Great Kisser: Maybe she doesn’t want to lip-kiss all night either, but didn’t feel enough trust and desire to want to deep-kiss with you. Don’t worry about this unless the next girl does the same thing. Then it’s time to check some things out. Are you too fast in your moves, wanting to go from zero to hero in three minutes?

Was this woman totally new to you that night, like did you just meet her on the dance floor? Then intimate kisses are too soon and you would make more time by talking and getting to know her instead of turning her off. Women want to kiss a person they like, not a cold stranger, no matter how good-looking he is, or thinks he is.

P.S. Is there a problem with your breath lately? When’s the last time you saw a dentist?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My heart beats faster every time my boss walks by. We are both women, and she is also a lesbian and has been for a long time, maybe forever. Me, not so much. I’m 12 years younger and experimented with men first. I idolize my boss and even dress like her, and now have the same haircut. It’s like being a member of a secret club.

I hoped she might notice, but she hasn’t seemed to. She has a mousy partner who looks old and boring to me. I’m 23. What should I do to let her know I’m attracted and open to something more with her than just business dealings?

— Desiring Her, Downtown

Dear Desiring Her: Your boss may have already noticed her Mini-Me in the office, as you’ve been changing your look to match hers. Consider this serious thought: maybe she loves her mousy partner deeply, for many reasons, and whatever flirting you do doesn’t faze her because she is in a life-long relationship. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t see your little moves, and it may stroke her ego, but nothing more.

Office romance is risky behaviour for anyone unless one is too smitten to avoid it. I think you’re at that point and heading straight for making a more obvious play. How about you sit back and see if she shows any extra interest in you? Whatever you do, don’t make any awkward confessions. Watch and wait to see if she makes any moves. Give it as much as a month without anything, and then give up, get your own haircut and a new attitude toward this boss. She doesn’t need the hassle, and you don’t need the heartache.

Start looking elsewhere for someone like her, but younger and not your boss. You can still enjoy her presence in the office — lots of office admirations never go any further and end up being very productive for the company, as people work hard and stay later, or organize happy-hour parties in the protection of a crowd.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is from a concerned reader about Druggie Daughter’s Mama, the woman who heard her estranged daughter tapping at the sliding doors at 3 a.m. The security lights came on and the daughter took off.

Not everyone can afford to pay for their kids to go to private rehab. It can cost upwards of $30,000. If the daughter wants to go to rehab, she can get referred to one through the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba, albeit after a waiting list. She needs to want to change, not her mom. Her mom needs support. Perhaps she can find an Al-Anon group that meets near her place. Al-Anon is for friends and family of addicted people, who are also suffering (because of them) from the disease of addictions, any kind of addictions, drugs or alcohol.

— One Who Knows, Winnipeg

Dear One Who Knows: Thank you for caring and writing. My response addressed the fact that Druggie Daughter’s Mama has some money. The estranged daughter was likely trying to tap her mother for money again, for something that would turn out to be drugs. A wealthy mother is in a unique situation: she is more likely to be badgered by the daughter in withdrawal, and more able to pay for rehab and counselling.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography