Bite marks not passion, but signs of possession

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This article was published 03/12/2017 (3178 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In the throes of passion, my girlfriend bit my arm and neck and left teeth marks. At first, I was proud. I thought it was proof of the passion I could inspire in a woman, but now the bites are starting to turn the ugly colours of a bruise and I’m feeling repulsed.

I was angry and made the mistake of calling her a little vampire and she took offence. We haven’t had sex since because I’m afraid of her teeth. What do you think? We’re both 19 years old.

— Vampire’s Victim, Fort Garry

Dear Vampire’s Victim: She had a choice to bite you like that or not. She wasn’t beyond herself with passion. If that were the case, everybody would be getting love bites, more accurately called “possession” bites since no other woman is going to want to look at them. So, for the time being, this girlfriend knows she has you exclusively.

It’s time to exit this relationship and find someone who is secure enough she doesn’t need to mark you as hers.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new man has the wrong idea about my past sex life. He seems to think he’s the only one who’s done anything experimental of the two of us.

Boy, have I got news for him, but should he know this intimate information?

I don’t know whether to disabuse him of the notion I’m innocent, and start up mental pictures of me with other men, or whether to keep quiet when he scoffs at me, as if I’m sexually conservative.

— To Tell or Not to Tell, Westwood

Dear To Tell or Not to Tell: Be a mystery to him. He is curious and trying to pry information out of you, but it’s best to keep the menu of your sexual experiences to yourself.

He may think he wants to know, but it could make him jealous and insecure about his own performance.

Tell him this: “Everything starts with you and I, now. I don’t want to know about your past, and you don’t need to know about mine. Let’s just enjoy each other.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a younger man at a retirement party for a person we work with. He works on a different floor of our building. I’m older than he is, although he has more power and prestige than I do.

Our departments have nothing to do with each other. We spent the whole time gabbing alone in a corner and drank way too much of the company booze.

We decided we should walk to a place for dinner close by and sober up, as he had his car. We talked for three more hours, discovered we have much in common and we laughed a lot together. We have the same kooky sense of humour. At the end, he drove me home because I came to work on the bus. We ended up necking in the car outside my apartment, but I didn’t invite him in. Now he’s been finding excuses to come to my department, and stops at my desk and flirts.

People can’t help but notice. It looks like we have a thing going. This is an old-fashioned company that frowns on office romance. The thing is, I’m hot for him, and curious, and I want him at least once! What should I do?

— Burning For Him, Downtown

Dear Burning For Him: If you’re thinking of having a real relationship with this man, you have to look at the negative perspective first: what if you got involved and broke up? Would you have to run into him? If you dumped him, could he get even with you through work? What would your boss and colleagues think of this romance? Would people suspect you were privy to secrets you shouldn’t know?

Maybe one or both of you don’t want a full-blown romance but just want to satisfy a curiosity about each other sexually. If you are both on the same page and it’s just a physical thing, you may be able to pull it off without anyone getting hurt. As for him visiting your desk every day, tell him people are already starting to talk and give him your cell number.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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