Great breakup sex not worth the guilt

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/06/2018 (2690 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend and I just broke up.

Well, he was more than my boyfriend. He gave me a diamond engagement ring three months ago. But I just wasn’t feeling the love, lately.

Tonight, he called in unusually great spirits for the situation (was he drinking?) to ask if we could get together one more time for goodbye sex.

I didn’t know what to say, so I thought I’d ask you. He is particularly good in bed, so it would be great sex — and he knows his strengths.

The trouble is he also loves me deeply and this could make it more difficult for me to walk away permanently.

The thing is you can’t live on sex and he’s not the brightest light in the brains department. Nice guy, but not someone you’d want to be stuck with alone for a week on holiday.

I found that out in Mexico this spring. He needs to be working, and keeping himself a bit scarce, to keep my interest.

We got engaged when he was working out of town. Then when I’d see him (he’s very good looking) I was glad to see him — hot for his body and his night moves.

But that’s not love. That’s more like “great sex.” Other than sports activities we don’t have much to talk about.

Should I have sex with him one last time?

It’s guaranteed to be a great production knowing him and would make a great memory.

—Sorely Tempted, Winnipeg

 

Dear Tempted: Yes, it could be a fantastic night, but it’d really be unfair to him. He has his hopes up of winning back your heart and all you want is a hot time in bed.

You already know he doesn’t stand a chance of winning you back.

How could you hurt him again like that? Wouldn’t the guilt take the shine off of this romantic evening, especially if he’s telling you how much he loves you?

You better check your own heart to see if it’s still beating.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is a lovely woman and I’d like to say I wish her the best, but her new boyfriend is a creep.

My husband and I were finally introduced to him at a party two weeks ago and his eyes followed me everywhere I walked. I look exactly like my mother, except 22 years younger.

I noticed he would always end up not far from where I was standing and he was looking me over, head to toe.

I decided to toss back a few martinis and tell him what I thought of him. I have a big mouth and my voice carries, so my husband tells me.

My mother caught me telling this guy off in the backyard and came to his rescue. She led him away, patting his arm saying, “Don’t mind her. She’s just jealous!”

Jealous? Should I tell her what he had been doing?

— Mega Upset Daughter, River Heights

 

Dear Mega Upset: Yes, you might as well get it all out there. Mom needs to know exactly who this man is, every side of him.

If she still wants to keep seeing him, that’s up to her, but at least she’s not doing it with any false ideas about what a respectful guy he is.

In many families there are people who are mildly attracted to other peoples’ spouses, but dismiss it as a bad idea to be anything more than casual friends.

They don’t eye people up and down and follow them from one room to another.

This guy is a hound dog and your mother needs to be well aware of it. Then she makes her own decision with her eyes wide open.

If they end up getting married, you can start seeing her for mother-daughter lunches, concerts and shopping and avoid dinners in small groups with him.

Hopefully, he will get tired of being rebuffed and ignored and stop paying undue attention to you.

Now here’s an interesting question: If you met the long-lost young version of your husband, would you not stare the first night?

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend and I are hitting the bumpy patch that usually leads to breaking up for people and our high school graduation night lies ahead. I don’t want to go to grad alone and I’m sure he doesn’t either.

How do we get through the next month so we can have this one last date with each other and not end up hurt, angry and dateless?

I don’t think we can last much longer. We are both driving each other nuts and it’s nothing we can change.

We just weren’t meant for each other long-term and we spat over the least little things now.

— Grad Blues, Winnipeg

Dear Grad Blues: If you have to get through a few more weeks, your best bet is be pleasant and see each other the minimum of time.

Don’t rise to the bait when he wants to fight and swallow your own petty comments.

Try to see the good in him, because you wouldn’t have started dating him if there weren’t good things.

Smooth the bumpy moments over with compliments and smile your way through graduation activities.

There will be plenty of time to hash things over and possibly break up after graduation.

It’s only a few more weeks.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6