Rekindle sex life via counselling

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband suffers from arrested development in sex. Every Christmas he buys me a see-through black, purple or red outfit, which is for his enjoyment alone, not mine. He doesn’t wear anything sexy besides his black boxers. Big deal. So, last year as a payback joke, I bought him a knitted “peter heater” at a church bazaar of all places, and he actually wore it. Yuck!

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/12/2018 (2864 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband suffers from arrested development in sex. Every Christmas he buys me a see-through black, purple or red outfit, which is for his enjoyment alone, not mine. He doesn’t wear anything sexy besides his black boxers. Big deal. So, last year as a payback joke, I bought him a knitted “peter heater” at a church bazaar of all places, and he actually wore it. Yuck!

How can I get through to him his sexual style needs to be more sophisticated if he wants me to be interested in him? Right now, I don’t even want to touch him.

— Totally Turned Off, North Kildonan

Dear Turned Off: In 2019, consider investing money into counselling — for you, first. Try to find a female relationship counsellor around your age. Talk openly about your own style of sexuality and what would turn you on — instead of this college-boy stuff.

Then, bring your husband in. Most guys are pretty good sports about trying new things. This guy of yours got beginner’s lessons from who knows where and needs to be educated about your sexual interests — trusting you have them. Have you even exchanged fantasies or bought books about sexual adventures?

Listen, you married this guy because you loved him, right? Then try to rekindle that love in a sexual way. A good counsellor can help you do that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m upset this Christmas because my family is all coming home for the wrong reason. I think they want to squeeze me into an old folks’ home so they won’t feel guilty about having moved to B.C.

They don’t want me to live alone and not be safe, but they don’t want me to move in with them, either. They want me in some safe, secure place where they can just forget about me. I know this because one of the grandchildren accidentally blabbed that his parents said this is “the last time we’re making the trip to Grandma’s house for Christmas.” He said they’re going to “change things so no one has to worry,” whatever that means.

I had my own business and worked hard all my life. I have a lot more money than my family is aware of, because I don’t want them waiting for me to die to get their inheritance. I’m not moving, and I don’t want to be pressured. Should I write them and tell them this ahead of Christmas? We’re having dinner at our family home. I’m having a giant turkey dinner catered so there’s no work involved for the relatives. Should I tell them that also?

— Feeling Upset and Unloved, Crescentwood

Dear Upset: Email them this information in the nicest way possible. Say you’ve heard from the grandkids that this is the last trip home for Christmas and that’s OK by you. Let them know you hope they really enjoy it. Bluntly say you won’t be moving to an old folks’ home any time soon, so don’t waste any time on the topic. Let them know it will be a “very special catered Christmas,” with very little work involved. Tell them next year you will be spending Christmas with friends or on holiday in a sunspot. Or maybe you’ll fly to B.C. for a three-day Christmas visit. Take control right now, so the whole family can breathe easy.

If you have worries about being in your house alone, you might want to arrange for a medical alert system such as Victoria Lifeline (victorialifeline.ca), as well as a GoSafe mobile alert for when you are out and about.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Local advocates can't trust federal data on city's homeless numbers

Scott Billeck 5 minute read Preview

Local advocates can't trust federal data on city's homeless numbers

Scott Billeck 5 minute read Updated: 7:24 AM CDT

The head of End Homelessness Winnipeg says she has no confidence in data about the city’s homeless population due to problems with the federal system that tracks those numbers.

Jennifer Rattray, the organization’s chief executive officer, told the Free Press Thursday it continues to work with the federal government to resolve problems with the Homeless Individuals and Families Information System, which keeps tabs on people who access homelessness services.

CBC has reported it obtained an internal memo from EHW that shows that as of the end of March, the number of chronically homeless Winnipeggers had fallen to 436 from about 4,400, as a result of efforts to correct the database.

Earlier this year, the organization had reported more than 8,000 people were accessing services.

Read
Updated: 7:24 AM CDT

Police HQ inquiry final report will be released next week: Kinew

Chris Kitching 4 minute read Preview

Police HQ inquiry final report will be released next week: Kinew

Chris Kitching 4 minute read Yesterday at 6:37 PM CDT

The final report of the public inquiry into the Winnipeg Police Service headquarters will be released next week, days before voters elect a mayor and city council, Premier Wab Kinew announced Thursday.

Read
Yesterday at 6:37 PM CDT

Reversing Manitoba’s moose decline

Hank Hristienko 4 minute read Preview

Reversing Manitoba’s moose decline

Hank Hristienko 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

As Manitoba’s retired provincial moose manager, I have watched our moose population plummet from historic highs to a state of systemic vulnerability. Reversing this decline, which has seen numbers drop from 45,000 during the 1960s to fewer than 20,000 today, will require balancing the conservation needs of moose, Section 35 constitutional treaty rights, licensed hunter expectations and economic development.

To avert further attrition, all stakeholders, including Manitoba Natural Resources, must accept responsibility for their part in this decline, with industrial and recreational development acting as the primary drivers.

This long-overdue discussion must not devolve into a debate over competing hunting rights; instead, it must focus entirely on building long-term population resilience. Wildlife management must evolve alongside the changing landscapes and dynamics that development brings. We can no longer practise the same methods and hope for a better result. Immediate action is required.

As long as moose are legally managed as a “natural resource,” they will inevitably be viewed through the lens of a commodity rather than a vulnerable species in need of protection. For any population to remain stable or grow, total mortality cannot exceed recruitment — the survival of calves to breeding age. If mortality outpaces recruitment, decline is inevitable.

Read
2:00 AM CDT

Man pleads guilty to manslaughter for chasing, stabbing man downtown

Erik Pindera 3 minute read Preview

Man pleads guilty to manslaughter for chasing, stabbing man downtown

Erik Pindera 3 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 6:28 AM CDT

An intellectually disabled man who drunkenly chased down a man he had been arguing with and fatally stabbed him in broad daylight admitted to manslaughter on Wednesday.

Matthew Gerald Tomack Pelletier, now 38, chased Ricky Dwayne Mancheese, 49, down Kennedy Street before stabbing him six times in front of his wife on the sidewalk between Sargent and Cumberland avenues, at about 11:50 a.m. on June 11, 2024.

Pelletier, who police arrested the next day, was charged with second-degree murder, but instead pleaded guilty to the lesser offence of manslaughter in front of Court of King’s Bench Justice Joan McKelvey on Wednesday.

“This type of incident on Winnipeg streets is all too common and must be strongly deterred,” said McKelvey.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 6:28 AM CDT

Mayoral candidates share faves, test knowledge in Free Press culture quiz

Conrad Sweatman 5 minute read Preview

Mayoral candidates share faves, test knowledge in Free Press culture quiz

Conrad Sweatman 5 minute read Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2026

It’s been said that politics is downwind of culture. However true that is, where politicians stand on hot-button cultural debates such as artificial intelligence, whether they prefer sports over arts and what local restaurants they patronize can offer a window into their sensibilities and outlooks.

The Free Press invited the four leading mayoral candidates among decided voters — according to a recent Abacus poll — to take part in a cultural quiz. (Kevin Klein, who was polling second, did not respond.) While most of the questions are lighthearted, they speak to some of the personalities behind the heated rivalries over budgets, buses, business taxation and beyond.

What was the last book you finished?

● Scott Gillingham: I’m almost done Winnipeg author Paul Vincent Jacuzzi’s book Blind Eyes. It’s a Dalton Drake novel.

Read
Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2026

Hit the brakes on driving lessons from mate

Maureen Scurfield 4 minute read Yesterday at 2:00 AM CDT

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve been trying to learn to drive in busy traffic. My boyfriend said he would teach me, but he gets too playfully amorous while I’m trying to drive his new car in busier areas like downtown. He thinks it’s a big joke, but when I yelled that he was distracting me, he said, “Good.”

So I pulled over, slammed on the brakes and got out, thinking he would get back into the driver’s seat and drive us home, but he didn’t budge. He was being a real jerk.

I got back in, drove us to my place in silence, left the keys in the ignition and went inside and locked my door. Now we’re not talking and neither one of us is apologizing. What do you think?

— Still Mad, St. James