Cure breakup pain on beach

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/01/2019 (2809 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It appears I was my girlfriend’s early New Year’s resolution as she got rid of me on Boxing Day.  

I was only allowed to keep a few toiletries and a couple of towels at her place. She handed them to me in a bag and told me we were finished. Before I left, she gave me a little speech which absolved us both of any guilt — “just wasn’t meant to be blah-blah” which sounded totally rehearsed.  Then I walked to my car, and it was all over.

She was such an organized little nerd, I just know she got rid of me so she could start the year fresh. I felt like shaking her until her perfect little teeth rattled. By the time I got home I was so mad I phoned her and yelled at her, and hung up. Now I feel like a fool.

Well, at least my friends will be glad to see me back. I was so obsessed with seeing her and trying to win her love, I pretty much ignored them. I feel so lousy. Please help me.

— Her 2018 Garbage, Tuxedo

Dear Garbage: You’re allowed to feel mad, sad, and sorry for yourself for a week or so. Then make a list of everybody you know and get your posse back together. Since you’ve been obsessed by a woman and spending all your time with her, you probably haven’t been much of a pal.

Look at January as a time for organizing social stuff, maybe even a beach vacation — but stay away couples or family resorts.

Pick a beach town with lots do. Puerto Vallarta has an abundance of entertaining diversions (for more info, visit their Facebook page, Puerto Vallarta and Bay Area Live Music). Check out the Zona Romantica (old town) where all the great restaurants are and the funky older hotels.

One of the greatest advantages to travelling after a breakup is it gets you out of the place where your heart got stomped, and into a whole new environment. On the beach, you’ll see lots of women in swimsuits by the water. While you may not feel ready for all-out romancing, it helps to realize the one who punted you is not the only one rocking a hot look.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to learn to ski and snowboard, but I’m 26 and don’t want to look like a fool. I was considering going to a ski resort to quietly take some lessons, but I don’t really want to go on my own. My other friends all do winter sports, but I’ve always worked a job on weekends that kept me in the city. Now I have graduated university, have a real job and get weekends off.

I have a new girlfriend who’s into winter sports. On our first date when I was indulging in a little bragging, I let on that I could ski and snowboard like she does. She was delighted to hear I could join her on the slopes.

Luckily she’s a traveller and she’s in Europe right now for another four weeks. But when she comes back, she’ll want to go skiing. How do I make my lie come true in a hurry?

— The Big Liar, North Kildonan

Dear Liar: Nothing like an embarrassing lie for motivation.  This could turn into a good thing. Sink all your discretionary cash into some ski and snowboarding lessons, say at Springhill Winter Sports, up Highway 59, just before Bird’s Hill Park. You can sneak off in the evenings and on weekends and take private lessons or semi-private lessons. 

With some lessons under your belt, try Asessippi Ski Resort or Holiday Mountain, which are more challenging ski destinations. You’ll want to take another lesson or two before hitting the steeper runs. Don’t waste your day drinking in the bar with your pals. 

You can make this big fat lie come true if you spend a month or so hitting the slopes. It’s not cheap, but now that you’re working, it’s affordable.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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