Zoo-obsessed boyfriend not the tiger for her

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This article was published 03/07/2019 (2620 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend, who’s 16 and really good-looking — I mean hot, like he could be in the movies — takes me to the zoo way too much. It’s like he has one idea and the rest of dating is just a burger and a movie he chooses for us to watch at his place, and then making out.

Last weekend, I handed him a cute little note with 10 suggestions for dates I’d like to do with him, and he looked at it and said, “But I love going to the zoo. Some day I’m going to work in one. Why would we do a list like this instead?” I lost it and shouted, “Why do we always do what you like?” and he shrugged as if it was a stupid thing to even ask. Is he selfish, or does he just not really like me?

— Feeling Bored and Ignored, St. James

Dear Ignored: You have put up with too much nonsense already. Your ideas should interest this boyfriend, but he’s totally self-centred. You were initially attracted by his hot looks, but a great boyfriend also has a great personality, big heart and a sincere interest in what interests you. This guy gets everything he wants — girl company and making out — and scorns you when you suggest some things you’d like to do.

What are you getting out of this? Well, the animals at the zoo regularly get to see you with a good-looking guy. As for the smooch benefits, you can get that with any guy.

It’s time to start looking for a new guy who’s fun and kind, perhaps “medium attractive” and has a great interest in what you’re all about, and what activities would interest you both. Get out of the shallow end of the pool and you’ll start to really have fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I threw up on my date our first time out together, and I was horrified. He has phoned over and over and asked me to go out with him again, and swears he doesn’t care what happened. I just keep picturing the contents of my stomach on the cement at the Ex and I don’t know how he can bear to kiss me again.

I’m 19 and brought up to be very polite. To puke up everything this guy just bought me, on top of his paying for the rides, just makes me feel awful. I really like him, but I don’t see how he could he ever want to kiss my mouth again.

— His Disgusting Date, Wolseley

Dear Disgusting: He must wonder if you’re just giving him an excuse for not seeing him again. The upset stomach wasn’t your fault and he knows it.

He’s also done things that are “disgusting” for a few minutes. Everybody has. In a close relationship people see their sweethearts when they’re sick, overtired, gassy, eyes running, honking their noses, cranky and out of sorts. If you have to be Miss Perfect at all times, you aren’t going to allow any guy to relax and be confident you won’t dump him for not being the perfect gentleman every minute. Sometimes we just can’t help what our bodies need to do.

Your stomach was upset and you needed to throw up. He understood that. Why do you care so much? What is this obsession with being Miss Perfect? If you really like him, it’s time to phone him up, say you’re sorry for being so uptight about getting sick and suggest you go out together and do something else, and this time it’s your treat.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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