Selfish ‘Covidiot’ needs big dose of reality

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/05/2021 (1975 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: One of my dearest friends is a “Covidiot.” She has gone to rallies in support of slogans like “No Masks, More Hugs.”

I’m so upset with her! I’ve told her numerous times she’s putting me in danger if she tries to come in my door with no mask. She told me to “Stop drinking the Kool-Aid!” and came over anyway yesterday, with a casserole and no mask. I wouldn’t open the door to her.

The bloody nerve of her! She knows I have serious health issues. We had a huge fight and we’re no longer on speaking terms. I can’t have someone in my life who thinks nothing of putting my life in danger. Our mothers were friends and became pregnant with us around the same time. We have never had a fight like this. I know everyone is entitled to their beliefs. Am I overreacting?

— Friends No More! Norwood

Dear Overreacting?: No, you’re not over doing it. Knowing you have health issues that compound the risk of having to fight COVID should have been enough for this “friend” to be extra careful and stay away completely. Then there’d be no risk to your life.

It’s 2021 — she could easily contact you via numerous technological means. It’s not a matter of trust in a friend. It’s about a virus that’s brainless and heartless, and spreads everywhere. Plus it’s invisible.

“I’ll do what I want!” is what three-year-olds yell as they run out on the dock to the deep water, with a parent in hot pursuit. We are not entitled to all our beliefs. Feeling that we are is a dangerous old belief, in itself. When one’s freedom to behave is pitted against rules that protect the health and lives of others, protective rules win every time.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My old boyfriend’s wife died not long ago, and he’s single again. Our families have always had cottages at the same beach. I ran into him there last weekend. At my insistence, we walked the beach paths “for old times’ sake.” On parting, I pushed my cell number in his hand, but he didn’t give me his. I guess he still has scars from the lousy way I treated him when I was young and foolish.

I did apologize, but all he said was, “No problem. I had a wonderful marriage.” That told me a lot. His standards are high now, and I could never come close to matching his perfect wife. I just can’t get my mind off him. He’s one of those guys who looks much hotter as a 50-year-old man than he did at 25. What do you think?

— Wanting to Call Him, St. James

Dear Wanting: Don’t call this guy! He’s recently lost his wife and is probably lonely. Although he gave you a dig about his wonderful marriage, it may have cost him to walk away from you, with lust showing in your eyes. He may have had to remind himself how you hurt him.

If you get together again, count on this: his memory will start stirring and he’ll remember more of the dirty deeds you perpetrated way back when.

He looks “hot” to you right now because he’s matured and he’s not yours. Plus, he seems hard to get — maybe impossible. But if he started to see you, he’d turn out to be basically the same nice man, just older. After a short while, you’d start remembering the things you thought were weak or unattractive about him. It may be this is only happening because he’s handy.

Memories may hide there in our brains, but they come floating back when we’re triggered. People usually break up for a good reason, unless it was just a misunderstanding. Getting back together a second time is usually a mistake, though a shorter one.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Well, I’m single and 29, and have been crying tonight. I started making a list of all the things I can’t do until after COVID is “over.” But when will that ever happen? My life is on hold.

I have the money to travel, but can’t travel. I have the time to go on holidays, but can’t leave Winnipeg to safely visit friends or family in other provinces or Europe. I don’t have a boyfriend, so my sex life is nil. My neighbours don’t want to visit me in my condo, and I don’t want to visit them, because they’re old.

I do have a secure job, but all I do is work and that’s boring. I know I sound whiny and privileged, but my feelings of depression and sadness are real.

— COVID Feels Like Prison, Downtown

Dear COVID Prisoner: Save up your money like crazy and make plans with no dates on them for the trip of a lifetime. Start mapping it out and maybe pick a theme for it. Put your maps and pictures up on the wall and make the voyage a reality when COVID is tamed. It’ll keep you thinking and imagining, starting right now.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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