Right light can help with winter darkness

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/12/2021 (1730 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m having a hard time dealing with the winter darkness. Today my partner told me she thought I was a bit depressed and kind of flatlining, and I have to agree. I’m not way down in the dumps, but I have little feeling about anything. It’s like I’m kind of numb.

Enthusiasm for anything is gone. Even normally delicious foods don’t taste like anything much, and I’m a foodie. I’ve stopped cooking myself, and am buying a lot of take-out when it’s my turn to make a meal. I think I may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Help, please.

— Feeling Grey and Cold, central Manitoba

Dear Feeling Grey and Cold: It sounds like you need light right now, and the sun isn’t able to provide it. Times have improved for people suffering from SAD, with many companies now offering special lights. People who get the blues from darkness often recover within a few days of spending up to 60 minutes a day (usually split in two sessions) with one of the specialized light-therapy lamps.

There are many to choose from, so do some research online to find one that suits you. Best of luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m tearing my hair out! I broke up with my loser boyfriend of four years in October. In mid-November, I ran into an old high school friend — totally handsome and grown up now — and found him to be twice the man my ex was. I’m having deep feelings, like I want to create a family with him. He feels that, too. He runs his own successful business, and could support a family.

Somehow the details of my wonderful new lover got back to my ex. Being a jealous loser, he started a phone campaign to get me back. He even got his best buddy — a bigger loser — to spy on me and report the details of my new life. When my ex complained to me, I told him: “It’s too late, so get lost!”

Today, I got a letter under my apartment door from my ex who got past the security somehow, saying he wants me back “no matter what the price.” He said it’s time for me “to stop playing a little game.” This is no game, and my new relationship is real. It’s not a ploy to teach my immature, self-centred ex a lesson.

My new guy has read the jerk’s letter, and wants to go over and knock him out. What should I do next?

— Nervous, Elmwood

Dear Nervous: It sounds like your ex is getting close to stalking at this point. Pick up the phone, and call your ex one last time. Tell him in a serious, level voice you’re not playing a game, and you’re serious about your new man. Tell him your new guy is not to be messed with, and that you’re also prepared to go to the police.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My tall new girlfriend likes to hook her long leg over my hip, for some reason she can’t tell me. I feel trapped, as I have to ask her permission to get out of bed. She says, “So sleep on your back!” But I need to sleep on my side.

The other night I unhooked her leg, and went and slept on the too-small couch. This apparently upset her. She came looking for me in the morning and was not happy. She looked like a big cranky baby! I said sarcastically, in baby talk: “Awww… did I hurt your feelings?”

She got dressed and stormed out the door! Now, three days later, we’re at odds about sleeping together after sex. I recognize this is not good, but I need my sleep! Any ideas?

— Unhooked and Unhappy, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Unhooked: Some people who side-sleep need that top leg to be lifted. A long body pillow is usually the answer. Buy one for yourself, too. It’s usually more comfortable than sleeping on your side with one hip up and your top leg resting on the other one.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography