Don’t feel pressured to rejoin the crowds

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/03/2022 (1345 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was so looking forward to getting out with a few girlfriends for live music and dancing again. It’s been two long years for me! But, as the night progressed I started to feel anxious. Everyone was wearing their masks and following social distancing in the beginning, but as the night wore on people were coming up to our table with their masks under their chins, asking us to dance.

I started to feel so uncomfortable I wanted to leave. My friends told me I was “overreacting.” I said, “Yeah?” Then I got up and left! Do you think I was overreacting?

— Unpopular Decision, The Maples

Dear Unpopular Decision: Unmasked folks who are huffing, puffing, laughing, sitting close together and dancing, have the ability to spread their droplets far and wide. Avoidance of big social groups still makes more sense for you. The Omicron variant isn’t as deadly, but it’s easier than previous COVID variants to spread. Many people get sick, and some still die.

People may have come in those club doors intending to be masked, then had a few drinks and said, “To heck with this. Other people have their masks off!” Alcohol loosens people’s inhibitions and social pressure is strong for people who want to fit in. You didn’t bow to your friends’ pressure this time, but it will get harder.

Instead of dancing, invite a good pal or two out to lunches and dinners. Then wait and see what transpires COVID-wise in the next month or two.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: “My wife loves to carry babies, and I love to make babies!” That’s one of my favourite lines and it usually gets a laugh. The trouble is we now have four kids under the age of 10, and that’s more than enough for me.

The love of my life wants a No. 5, but I already have to work hard to support her and the four kids now. Also, I don’t get to see my growing children enough, as I have to work so much.

Secretly, I think she’s afraid that if she isn’t busy with a new baby I will push her to go back to work. She hated working outside the home. She doesn’t believe me when I say I can afford four kids but not five! She says, “You have a great job. What’s the problem?” Please help.

— Losing Battle? Westwood

Dear Losing battle: Go over the finances with your wife, so she can see the picture clearly. Then address her fear that she will have to go back to working outside the home. Let her see how close you are to not having enough money to support another child, but that you could make it with four — and she could still stay home. Also talk about your desire to spend more time with the young kids you already have. As a good mom, she will appreciate that sentiment. More open communication on all fronts — financial and personal — will help.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography