Public humiliation really could be final straw

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This article was published 12/05/2022 (1548 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My dad drinks too much, and at a retirement party with fellow workers he ended up loudly saying about my mom, who wanted to go home, “She’s nothing but a freakin’ whiner.”

Then he did that sarcastic playing-the-violin thing — and all this in front of co-workers. I’ve seen him do this to her at home and even then it makes me want to belt him!

My mom was humiliated and angry and came home in her car. She always drives, because he drinks. She told me shakily, what happened and went straight to the bedroom. I could hear her crying.

I waited up for Dad. He came home drunk in a cab two hours later, and I was right there at the door. I told him the result of what he did to Mom, and that she cried for hours.

He slid down to the basement like the snake he is, instead of apologizing to her.

It’s been a week since this all went down, and Mom still isn’t talking to him, even though he tries. At first, I understood why, but at this point I wonder if maybe she was looking for an excuse to make a really big deal of things.

It’s been pretty rocky the last couple of years between my parents, but isn’t my mother blowing this out of proportion? I’m beginning to think so. What should I do, if anything?

— University Student in Midst of Cold War, River Heights

Dear Student in Cold War: Public humiliation from a mate — particularly when the victim knows the people watching — can sometimes spell the end of things.

Don’t take your father’s side in this. Support your mom and whatever she wants to do. She may need to finally end this relationship.

That means you, as a college student, need to work two jobs this summer and get a new living arrangement together with roommates where you split rent and expenses. Then you should apply for bursaries and student loans.

This will allow your parents to do whatever they need to do. There’s a good chance your mother has been hanging in there way too long, to save your education.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in love with one of my teachers. He doesn’t know it. I know it’s pointless hoping for a romance in high school but you never know what could happen after I leave this place. We aren’t that much different in age, and people can “catch up,” can’t they?

I can tell he likes me, but I don’t know how much. Who knows what could happen this summer? I was thinking of getting him a gift and card, but don’t know what to say on it. Got any ideas?

— Finally Graduating, Winnipeg

Dear Graduating: Some students do give their teachers cards at the end of Grade 12, but it’s just to say “Thank you for a great year” — something pleasant and general. Don’t go any further on the card, and certainly no gifts.

Teachers are bound by a code of honour (and law) not to get involved romantically with students outside of teaching them, and for good reason.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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