Goofball comedy act bombs in the bedroom

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This article was published 14/12/2022 (1359 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve started dating a funny guy who makes me laugh all the time. My problem? He brings his crazy sense of humour to bed.

Things will be steaming along, and the excitement building — until something strikes him funny about what we’re doing. Then he can’t help himself. He cracks his crazy joke, and we both start laughing — and the erotic mood is gone.

We try to get it back, but it’s usually lost. What do you suggest for my clown and me?

— The Laugh’s on Us, Norwood

Dear Laugh: Before you get started making love, warn him that if he starts joking, he’s going to hear you holler, “Later!” If he tests out that threat — and he probably will — show him you mean business and walk away. A little playful humour can be a great thing for romance, but he’ll learn quickly to keep his clownish material out of the bedroom.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Christmas is coming, and so are the out-of-town relatives after three years off. I overheard my husband asking his single brother to stay at our place for the whole visit, “so they can spend more time together.”

That presents a creepy little problem. I have a physical crush on my younger brother-in-law which presents itself when he’s walking around our house in a pair of jeans, and nothing else. A picture of his perfectly muscled upper body, is still imprinted on my brain from his last visit!

I love my husband, and he is an absolute sweetheart, but he couldn’t care less about his body. I don’t usually notice either, but his brother is the opposite — a bodybuilder, with trophies— and he shows his body off every chance he gets.

It’s obvious he isn’t interested in me. I’m a bit dumpy, like his brother.

Should I confess all this foolishness to my husband, and lessen my guilt, or will it only make things worse?

— His Silly Wife, Manitoba

Dear Silly Wife: Don’t mess with the deep love between brothers! Keep your physical fascination to yourself. A confession would just hurt your husband, and ruin the visit with his brother. Look, you don’t even think about this beefy brother when he’s not in town, so don’t make your little quandary into your husband’s problem.

Consider this: Hubby may not be in great shape himself, but he may have the hots when he looks at few females he knows. Would you want to hear about that? No way!

Instead of dwelling on your brother-in-law’s biceps, make a list of friends, relatives and places you want to go while he’s staying at your house. Call up friends ahead of time and even buy tickets to events to ensure you’re one busy lady.

Give your husband and his hot younger brother a big holiday gift — lots of room to hang out together, without you hanging around.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing about “Generational Loss,” the person who lost his last remaining grandparents and really misses knowing older people. (I, along with readers, suggested becoming a regular visitor at personal care homes. —Miss L.)

In my case, I went to a centre one afternoon a week, arrived after lunch, and visited the people they directed me to, who did not receive visitors. I did that for one year. I’d knock on their door and ask if they were up for company, and was never refused. I’d ask one question about their growing up and the conversation just flowed!

I’d let them do most of the talking, as they were thrilled to have someone to listen and show interest. Plus, it was very interesting for me.

I did have a police check, and also because I do a lot of volunteering in my community, I had references. As well, my daughter is an occupational therapist who specializes in geriatrics and mental health, so she gave me tips and tricks to follow as a volunteer. She trained me!

— Experienced Volunteer, Winnipeg

Dear Experienced: Thanks for sharing your successful volunteer experiences with seniors. It sounds like you got a lot of enjoyment out of it yourself, and that’s the way it should be.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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