You really stepped in it with canine comment

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This article was published 17/02/2023 (1319 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I always have my loyal dog beside me everywhere I go — in the truck and on my farmland. Unfortunately, this week, I admitted something to my live-in fiancée about my truest feelings. I told her, after a few too many beers, that I’ve never loved and trusted a woman, like I do my dog!

When she asked me, in a normal voice if that included her, I said, “Yes, because you’re a woman.”

Then I fell asleep, thinking she understood me. Next morning I woke up, and she had packed up and gone. She left a note saying, “Marry your dog, since that’s who you really love and trust!”

I don’t know what to do now. I love her and miss her, but I wasn’t lying when I said what I did. The proof I’m right? Look what she just did to me! A dog would never do that unless they’d been abused — and maybe not even then. What now? Should I chase after her, or not?

— Kicked in the Gut, rural Manitoba

Dear Kicked: There are some confessions you can’t go back on convincingly. Saying you love and trust your dog more than your fiancée, may be one of those. Yes, you could chase this woman down and try to backtrack on what you said — but she knows she got the bare truth from you in an unguarded moment. As a result, she doesn’t trust the depth of your love anymore.

Maybe it’s time to consider looking for a life companion who really suits you. Your next relationship needs to be with another dog devotee — someone as lovingly committed to their canines as you are to yours. Then you’ll be on the same wavelength and may be able to laugh together about your two-tier love philosophy, and not be offended by it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It hurts to say this, but my mom and dad are miserable together. I think they’re mistakenly staying together because of “the kids,” but we’re in our late-20s now! We want to see everybody happy, not just us. I hinted at this to my dad and he said, “Easier said than done, son.”

Then I asked Mom straight-up, and she said: “Where can I live on my salary? Do you want me to move in with you?” Well, that set me back on my heels, because I certainly don’t. Mom’s a hard person to live with. I remember too well the fights from my teenage years.

So what do we do? The folks barely talk to each other anymore, and are obviously unhappy. Last night we “kids” had some drinks together and talked about our parents and what we could do to help the situation. Nobody wants either of them to move in, so maybe we should just shut up. All I know is my parents had to keep their jobs and pool their money to live comfortably with us kids at home. Maybe lack of money is why they stay together.

My sister-in-law got mad at all of us, and put on her coat to go home. She said, “Why are you people even discussing this? It’s none of your business!” Is she right, or should we try to find a way to help?

— Oldest Son, St. Norbert

Dear Oldest: There’s much you don’t know about your parents’ private life — things they really don’t need to tell you. The only thing grown-up kids can safely do is ask how things are going between the two parents, and ask them separately. Then they must respect the answers they get. The conversation may last two minutes — or two long hours.

What you can do is assure your parents you “kids” are grown-up and independent, and you just want them both to be happy in their lives, whatever that will take. And then add: “Please let us know if we can help.”

One or both parents may tell you to back off completely, or say, “Not up to talking right now!” Most likely your folks will assure you they can handle their own relationship, even if they really can’t. Is that not what you would say, if your parents were trying to meddle in your love life?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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