Staying with retired pop not your usual roomie setup

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This article was published 02/10/2023 (1049 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just moved back in with my dad after my recent divorce. Things have been tough from Day 1, with the old coot! I’m 37, with one child, who lives with his mom. I work from “home” in Dad’s basement, and don’t start until 9 a.m. Dad is retired army, and up at 6 a.m. every day — either cleaning, repairing stuff or watching TV full-blast!

I recognize I’m in his house now, and he’s lived here for many years, with his own rules. I just want to find some compromise, but he isn’t open to it. He thinks I’m a failure for getting divorced, despite him being divorced as well. How do you make it work living with a parent/roommate later in life?

— Divorced Dad Dilemma, North End

Dear Divorced Dad: Forget all the usual expectations regarding this unusual housemate situation, and treat Dad like a loud neighbour you don’t want to fight with. Buy a comfortable headset, and block out the noise. Tell Dad in a conversational voice what you’re doing. Ask him to please phone you or send you a message if he wants to tell you something before 9 a.m.

Also try to put a cap on how long you’re going to stay at his place. Knowing there’s an end in sight might help settle your dad down, if he’s been trying to “annoy” you out of his house.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m losing my hair, and I’m not even out of my 20s. Does it really matter? There are so many jokes and clichés about being bald, I can’t even tell what’s a real issue. Do women prefer a bit of hair, or none at all? I don’t want to resign myself to being single or so insecure it keeps me single. How do I navigate this?

— Losing It Fast, Crescentwood

Dear Losing It: Some women are turned on by a totally bald look, and might not go for a fringe look. You could experiment with both looks and see what you like. Other women couldn’t care less about hair, as they’re more intrigued by face, body type, personality, sporting or artistic talent, or a great sense of humour.

Some women say the man who won them was not the best-looking guy they dated, but someone who was not insecure about their looks, and had so much to offer he soon became very attractive. On the other hand, good-looking guys who treat people badly, start looking less handsome pretty fast. Humorist Dorothy Parker famously wrote: “It is true that beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new live-in was getting some kind of charge out of slapping my bottom as I’d walk by. At first it felt like nothing more than a love tap, and I didn’t mind. But since the summer he’s started smacking me harder, and it really stings. Yesterday, I’d had enough! I told him if he did it again, I was going to make him wish he hadn’t.

He turned around, told me I had to “learn my place” and slapped me again much harder! Then I lost my temper, and hit him hard across the face. He shot daggers at me, and stomped out of the apartment.

I called my best friend — a guy who’s been around — and told him what happened. He said, “It seems like he was trying to groom you, and it back-fired on him.”

What? Turn me into his submissive? Fat chance! I’m not into that. Now what?

— Slapping the Wrong Woman, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Wrong Woman: Since you called him your “new live-in,” presumably you hold the lease. Since he’s been striking you, and you’re now decking him, forget any further argument. You two have reached your “best-before” date. Pack up his stuff and just send it to wherever he is now.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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