Long-distance entanglement has gone too far

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve had this lonely guy phoning me almost every night while he’s working up north. We met through social media and it was fun at first, but now he’s pushing for an in-person meeting when he comes to Winnipeg next month.

There’s a big problem though — I no longer look like the old pictures of me on Facebook he liked so much. I’ve gained a lot of weight since those photos were taken and I also cut my long hair in October, and it turned out badly. He especially loved the long-hair fantasies.

What should I do to say goodbye? I wouldn’t bother ghosting him, as that would have him looking for me. It’s likely he’ll come down here on a hunt and that would be so embarrassing. He knows where I work, for instance, so he could just go there and ask to see me. So what else can I do? It’s making me anxious.

— Getting a Rash, Whyte Ridge

Dear Getting a Rash: Don’t ghost this poor guy by disappearing with no explanation. Be kinder.

It’s hard on the brain and the heart, not to mention the self-confidence, to feel conned. So offer him an apology for letting things carry on so far when you weren’t really interested.

Tell him first you weren’t being truthful about your appearance. He might feel embarrassed or he might laugh. He’ll likely want to see a real photo of you now. Who knows, he may even ask to be friends.

There’s no doubt this will have taken the shine off this long-distance “romance” (at least on his side of things), but there was a fun friendship too, and a chance he may still want that, but would you want it?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just moved back to Winnipeg in time for winter. Nothing like freezing your butt off in good company, is there? I joined a curling league an old friend is in, and I love it. I also have family here, but it’s not enough.

I’m in my late 30s and most of my old friends are married and having kids. I’m happily unattached and want some more fun, but sadly, I don’t know where a lot of my old single friends have gone. I’ll have to start again.

I have no desire to do any travelling this winter with the world in a mess. Do you have any suggestions for me on how to meet new people (whether to date or just to socialize) in Winterpeg in the coming months?

— Back in Town, St. Vital

Dear Back in Town: Welcome back. You’ve made a good start by joining a curling league to get you out and socializing as the days get colder and darker.

You mention your pool of old single friends here has been drying up, so why not consider something other than the bar scene as a strategy to meet new people and make real connections — whether romantic or new friendships.

If you’re active on social media, look for groups or causes that pique your interest and you might just meet some like-minded people. If you don’t use social media, check out the local offerings for social, recreational or creative pursuits that interest you in the Winnipeg section of the website meetup.com.

Volunteering for events. charities or causes you support can facilitate making connections with passionate people with similar interests. Learn where you can help out by visiting volunteermanitoba.ca to. Get busy, and good luck.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.