Irresistible former lover too much to handle

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This article was published 18/11/2016 (3605 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The woman who caused me to lose my first job in Toronto for having sex in the workplace just Facebooked me in Winnipeg to let me know she’s moving here at Christmas, and wants to get things going again. Nooooo! She’s nothing but trouble for me. I want nothing to do with her, but she’s addictive. She arrives at the door with food and booze, wearing skimpy lingerie under her coat, making it obvious she wants to hit the bedroom ASAP. I’m easy and can’t resist her.

Here’s how we got fired: one night we were working late on a project and she brought out champagne and goodies from her car, and we got into it on the boardroom table. I thought everybody had gone home. The night cleaners arrived much earlier than we guessed they would and snapped on the lights. They reported us, even though I gave them $50. We both got fired. I had no idea what to do, so I came home to Winnipeg. She got another job immediately, don’t ask me how, but I can guess.

Now here she comes again. How do I get rid of her? I want her, but I don’t want her ruling my life. I don’t love her and she’s crazy and scares me. I’m afraid she’ll destroy my life again. Help! — Fool For Her Body, West End

Dear Fool For Her Body: Don’t start seeing her, not even once for old time’s sake, which she will offer. Think of her as a nasty drug you were addicted to, and you can’t afford to use in any sense of the word. You can’t even chance one lapse that could pull you back in again. If you forcefully repel her now before she comes back to town, your chances are greater that she will get busy online right away and have a new honey to play with as soon as her plane lands.

If she can’t stand to be rejected and shows up with a champagne bottle wearing nothing but her furry coat, yell though the door, “My girlfriend is in here. I told you to stay away. Go back where you belong.” That should be rude enough.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My father sent me a ticket to go home to England for Christmas. He didn’t include a ticket for my husband. We just got married and don’t want to go to England for Christmas. We want to have an intimate time in Winnipeg in front of the fireplace in our new house. I don’t want to break my dad’s heart, but he still has mom and the other siblings back here. I am his favourite. What should I do? — Not Using That Ticket, St. Vital

Dear Not Using That Ticket: Tell your dad you already have intimate plans with your new husband this Christmas and won’t be breaking them, but you’ll be happy to fly back to visit in the new year. If your dad has a lot of money and just doesn’t want to have to share you with your husband, make that visit home very short and tell your father why. You may find two tickets in the mail for a longer visit after Christmas, or there may be zero tickets, and a slight cross-Atlantic chill. It won’t last, so don’t give in to manipulations like this. Your husband is your most important family now and your father needs to accept that important fact.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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