Stand up to your father, leave your wife for lover

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/11/2016 (3248 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is beautiful, talented, runs a great staff at work and at home, is great with our money, accomplished in her career and comes from a big-money family, but I don’t love her and she doesn’t love me, though she thought I was hot at first. She was a smart choice, as pointed out to me by my wealthy father when I started dating her. I went for it. We had a sex life every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday night. Still, I didn’t love her. We just got along.

Then came this maddening, exciting, challenging woman with wild, crazy hair and big brown eyes, and I fell in love with her. From Day 1, I was a goner. We had a fight right off the top because there was so much sexual energy in my office. She said, “Just shut up and kiss me, and get it over with!” She knew I was married. My wedding ring got tangled in her hair. I think it might have been a sign.

It’s about way more than sex with her. I love every fibre of her being, and I admire her talents, her warm nature, her love of children (we want them together) and her fearlessness. Now, months later, I need to break up with my wife who was so clever and efficient back in the beginning of our relationship I’m going to lose a lot more than 50 per cent of what we have as a couple. My father is begging me not to leave my wife. We have no kids and live a very large lifestyle. I want and need to be with my lover full time, and that won’t change. What should I do about my father? — Pushing 35, Winnipeg

Dear Pushing 35: There are some relationships that come along in life that are a fait accompli — a done deal — from the first meeting. This sounds like one of those, so get yourself the best lawyer you can, not in any way connected to your father, and prepare for battle. It’s time to grow up. Your father has always had too much power over you and he’s primarily motivated by greed. He’s not a love guru; he’s been a financial matchmaker, with your permission. If necessary, you may have to shock him with grown-up steely eyes and a rough statement such as, ”From this moment on you are out of my personal life.” Part of the reason you love this new woman is she has the ability to stand up to you. Will you show her you can develop that kind of backbone, or will you wimp out and lose her?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have breakfast with my older sister who eats a bowl of dry Chex every morning and every crunch, crunch, crunch makes me want to scream. She is getting on my nerves so bad I can’t stand being in the same room as her. She’s 15 and thinks she’s so smart, and she’s disgusting. Her room is a pig sty and her computer language is so crude (I snoop). I could show my parents pictures of her online that would make them throw up. I’m only 13 and have five more years before I can escape from this house and that pig. Please help me. — Living With Oink, Winnipeg

Dear Living With Oink: 1. If she’s putting naked pictures of herself online, tell your parents so she doesn’t get picked up by some creep who will do her harm. 2. Shut the door of her room every time you go past it, and make your own room exactly the way you want it. 3. Invite your own group over more often, and she will hide in her room to avoid you. 4. If you do have anything at all you still like to do together, even if it’s jigsaw puzzles and TV, do it. 5. Remember, you still love her, even though you can’t stand her right now as she goes through this stage, so don’t completely alienate her.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography