Love song for girlfriend hits the wrong notes

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/11/2016 (3600 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a guy who loves country music, and I sing and play guitar. I wrote a love song for my new girlfriend a few weeks ago and sang it to her last weekend. I gave her the words, written in a card.

She didn’t react much. I sat with my guitar and sang it to her, and she just said, “That’s nice,” and patted me on the back like I was a little boy. She didn’t leap into my arms, that’s for sure. She took the card, looked at it, smiled and then said she had to go to pick up a friend. She hadn’t mentioned she would have to cut things short before that.

What’s up? Am I that bad a singer or songwriter? The feelings came from my heart, and I feel my confidence with her is totally shaken now. She might as well have said, “Keep up the fair work.” Please help me.

— Severely Embarrassed, Osborne Village

Dear Severely Embarrassed: An artistic person always takes a chance when he or she writes a person a poem of love or expresses their feelings in an original song. It’s a temptation to do it in the first throes of infatuation when the “loved one” seems perfect. It’s better to just perform it somewhere on stage perhaps — with no dedication — and let the new lover guess if the song or poem was written about them. You can mess up a relationship by jumping into expressions of love and deeds too quickly.

Maybe this woman wasn’t ready to hear such flowery sentiments, or maybe it was bad writing or a song about feelings that don’t fully exist on her side yet. Maybe she doesn’t like country music, or, I’m sorry to say, you may just need some singing lessons before you go public, or private. Get a handheld recorder and try out your newest songs before performing them for an audience, no matter how small, or try them out on a friend who will tell you the truth nicely.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I work in a high-profile job in the public eye. This witch who works in my office has just started dating my (recent) ex-husband. I don’t want him back — he’s a two-timing creep — but she made a big deal out of coming over and saying loud enough for certain people close by to hear, “I just have to tell you before someone else does, that I have started seeing (so-and-so). Neither of us wants you to be hurt by this, so I thought I’d tell you first, before it got out.”

I just lost it and starting going off on her, but my best friend who was in earshot pulled me away hard by the arm. Then the $%#@ witch, said to me loudly that she was going to have me written up for using “dirty words” on her. I made a beeline to human resources and told them she tried to start a fight with me over my ex-husband and confessed I called her a name or two. This woman and I work 15 feet from each other. I know she won’t stop at that fight, so I needed to tell my story first. Now what do I do? — Bigger Blow-Up Coming, Winnipeg

Dear Bigger Blow-Up Coming: If anyone has to be demoted it shouldn’t be you since it seems the woman dating your ex-husband started stirring things up. She also isn’t likely to run to human resources if, as you hint, she stole your husband, so go for a geographical cure. Shifting desks to the other side of the office can make a big difference in the atmosphere, or perhaps there’s another department where you would like to work within the business. Talk to your supervisor about it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography