Past life haunts former prostitute

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This article was published 29/03/2017 (3143 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I used to be a working girl, if you know what I mean. My plan after I got some training in a legitimate field was to move to Vancouver and look for real love and a good life. Unfortunately, I fell in love here. I loved that my husband, who knows of my past, lived on the edge of the city and thought I was probably safe from running into people from my former life, but every day I worry I will run into someone who used to be a customer. I have spotted a few of them in malls and ducked into nearby stores. I am always edgy in public. How can I stop the worry I have when I go out socially with my husband? — Almost Buried Past, Winnipeg

Dear Almost Buried Past: You need a plan and a line so you’re never left with that “Caught!” look on your face. If you’re out with your husband, you really don’t need to worry, as no guy in his right mind is going to come up and cause a scene. The most likely scenario is a former customer sees you out shopping alone and hits on you. If that happens, just say to him seriously, “I have a good life now and I hope you are happy, too.” Then walk away quickly and purposefully. Smiling might encourage the guy, but your sincere and serious face will not be construed as any kind of come-on.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my gullible mother very much and don’t like to see her dating a man I consider a big mistake. He lies, drinks too much, brags, smokes fat stinking cigars and lives in a condo. My mother is crazy about him.

I decided to do some checking and found out he does not have the management position he says he does, although he works there. One phone call to his company revealed that. Also, I followed him in the car after leaving our house at midnight and he went to a suburban house where a woman in her housecoat took him in and kissed him at the door. It was a former address of his and she didn’t look like his daughter. Should I tell my mother and burst her bubble, or do I need more information? — Protective Son, Winnipeg

Dear Protective Son: If you’re going to burst anyone’s bubble, do it early in the game so you don’t hear: “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” That could be after the guy has encouraged her deep love, talked her into lending him money or put a romantic trip on her credit card, saying he would pay it back. Those are typical moves of a small-time con man.

It does seem he’s seeing another woman after he leaves your mom. So start with, “Mom, I had a bad feeling about this guy you are seeing. I did some checking and this is what I found…” Then just give her the facts, no conclusions. She may be upset at first and lash out at you, or she may say that she had a weird feeling too, but didn’t know what it was or how to find out. Nothing can be gained by keeping this guy’s secrets for him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Please ask the gentleman signed “Is It Finished?” who wrote your column about his girlfriend not appreciating his muscular body, to contact me if he’s interested in someone who’s dedicated to fitness and would love to say hi. — Shelley, Toronto

Dear Shelley: Thanks for reading our paper in Toronto and commenting on “Is It Finished?” from the musician whose girlfriend told him his muscles were “goofy-looking.” Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to serve as matchmaker for readers for several good reasons — chief among them safety. So, just consider your message/offer passed on in this column. I’m sure he will feel the vibes from your warm appreciation of his fine musculature coming all the way from Toronto. At the very least, it will annoy his unappreciative girlfriend.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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