Mom’s relationship with gardener blooming

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This article was published 21/07/2017 (3035 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my mother and my stepfather, but I know that my mother is not being as true as he is. I don’t imagine she has physically cheated yet, but she has a big flirtation going with the guy who comes in to take care of her gardens on our acreage.

I have seen them with their heads together laughing and joking, and finding excuses to touch each other on the back or arm.

My stepfather is at work and doesn’t see this stuff, but I’m at home and see what’s up. If I confront her, she will know exactly what’s going on, even if she fakes it that she doesn’t.

The gardening guy is not young, but not old either (35-ish).

I don’t know the situation in the bedroom with my mom and stepfather, but they recently moved into separate rooms about a year ago. She says it’s because he snores, but she told me that in private so I couldn’t check his face to see if it was a lie or not.

Should I speak to her about this? If I’m noticing this growing romance, is it my place to warn her she is being noticed?

By the way, she’s the one who cheated on my dad in her first marriage. I love my stepdad and don’t want to see him hurt by her, or gone from my life like my dad is. — Nervous About Mom’s New Romance, Winnipeg

Dear Nervous About Mom’s New Romance: Yes, talk to you mother about it and tell her how you feel. It is your business, as you’re part of this family and you love your stepdad and her.

Go one step further — ask her to stop. Don’t let her brush you off.

She will hate discussing this with you and may tell you to butt out, but try anyway. You will obsess about it if you keep silent and let her proceed as if no one has seen it.

Good for you for noticing and wanting to do the right thing. That shows a lot of maturity on your part, and you clearly value important relationships.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I recently went to a wedding out of town and met a gorgeous, muscular guy there who really romanced me at the reception. We ended up going to his fancy room with a big hot tub in the hotel.

While he asked for my contact information and copied it down (I watched him), he didn’t follow up — not even a text message.

He was gone on a flight the morning after the wedding. It was the best sex of my life and I am still tingling thinking about him. He was a great lover and funny, too. He confessed he actually did exercises to make himself a better lover and he got down on the floor naked and did 10 one-arm push-ups as an example. What a sight that was. It was a whole night of love.

I couldn’t help but go on Facebook and other places as soon as he left, and look for him. He came up all right — married with children.

What was he doing alone at the wedding and sleeping with me, taking a break from his marriage? Why didn’t anybody warn me? He was wearing a ring, but not on the left hand.

I found out where he worked through a friend and left a message at his office. No response.

I just wanted to tell him what a jerk he was pulling that off and using me while he had a wife and children waiting for him at home. He needs to get a… Piece of My Mind, River Heights

Dear Piece of My Mind: It may have been a great night of lust, but it wasn’t a great night of love. That’s not a word to toss around. You didn’t even make love. You fooled around, had sex and a lot of fun.  He probably took down your number just to be polite in front of you.

I’m not sure why he needs to be called a jerk if you didn’t ask anything about his relationship status before you bedded him at that wedding.  Did you talk about anything personal, other than sexual preferences?

This is one you just have to let go with a promise to yourself to drink less and investigate more. There is no point in contacting him. It was a one-night stand, you had a lot of fun, and it’s over.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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