Skinny dipper rides wild surf at secluded beach

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This article was published 22/07/2017 (3324 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to the lake one afternoon all by myself and found a beautiful place on a little beach with no one there but me. I thought I could chance it, so I slipped off my shorts and went into the water naked and had a great swim. I’m a strong swimmer and the lake was calm. I was just about to come back in and glanced at the beach, and there was this beautiful red-haired woman parking her stuff not far from mine. She wasn’t taking any notice of me. I swam further out and stayed in the water until finally I wanted to come out.

I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to flash her and have her be some uptight woman who calls the cops. So I got close to the water’s edge. And I called to her. She didn’t hear me so she came over to where I was, now crouching up to my neck in the water. I told her I was naked in the water and I couldn’t get out because she was there. She laughed and sat down on the edge of the sand. “Too bad for you!” she said and continued talking to me. It was apparent she wasn’t going to let me get out of the water.

Finally I asked her to throw me my shorts and she said she didn’t feel like it. I asked her to turn her head so I could come out, and she said she didn’t feel like it in a teasing sort of way. I told her I would have to come out naked if she wouldn’t help me, and she said “Now you’re talking.” But before I could get out she stripped off her suit, took three long strides and did a shallow dive into the water with me.

Well, one thing led to another and there was still no one on the beach so we fooled around in the water, kissing and clinging and having a great time and then she said she wanted to get serious. So we took a chance. We hit her blanket, used an extra towel to cover up a little bit and did the horizontal boogie (she had protection). Then she said she had to go, and took off in her car. I didn’t even get her licence plate number. She wore no rings. I don’t know her last name. I don’t know why she took off.

What do you think? She was about 25 and lives in Winnipeg. I am 19 but look older for my age. She knows my full name and it’s easy to spell, and I told her I was on Facebook. How do I find her again? — Left In the Lurch, Lake Winnipeg

Dear Left in the Lurch: If she wants to see you again she will contact you on Facebook. She may not, given the age difference and the fact she was so bold and living out a wild fantasy on the beach that presented itself.

Perhaps it was a surprise, or perhaps she occasionally uses that beach to run into somebody like you. You could go back there and see if she shows up again.

I hate to tell you this, but if she wanted to see you again, she would have given you her contact information.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a love note copied off my husband’s computer in a pair of his old pants. It was dated from last year. It was very explicit and painful to read. This woman had been very much in love with my husband and he had broken it off with her. She was basically crying in the letter, describing how much it hurt her that he still loved me more and he was saying goodbye to try to make his marriage work again.

I had been so busy with my practice and all my clients, I had no idea my husband was lonely and drifting. It was clear this woman had chased him at his office and she had quit work because he broke it off with her. That was the only relief I got in the letter. Now what do I do about this? My best friend says to shut my mouth and thank God he still loves me and wants to try.

And he has been trying harder, I think, but I haven’t. I didn’t know what was going on, so have been working long hours at the same pace. We have no children because I said we would have to put it off. I don’t know if they got back together again. It’s been a whole year since that breakup. He seems happy, but then he’s the kind of person who always puts on a happy face. Please tell me where to start. Should I ignore this old letter and just try to be a better wife, or what? I worship the ground he walks on, but just don’t show it. — Confused Workaholic, St. James

Dear Confused Workaholic: If he was truly an honourable person he wouldn’t have gone running into this other woman’s arms without telling you first there was a problem in your marriage.

Your husband may have found you to be the better woman, or just used that as an excuse to end an affair that was waning for him. It’s been a year since, and he has not asked about counselling or working through problems, nor has he felt guilty enough to confess the affair. Before you take all the responsibility onto yourself for the relationship breakdown, consider the trust which was broken by him.

Part of a good marriage is that you will go to each other first, not have a secret affair on the side.

Unless you address this affair, you will always wonder about his secrets. Did he go on to see other women?

So take the letter and show it to him. Just lay it on the table and tell him you need to talk.

At that point you don’t have to say much. He knows what’s in the letter and it’s his turn to speak.

You can and will react as he talks about what happened. Don’t be ashamed to show emotion. It’s an emotional situation and that would be natural.

What would not be natural is absolving him of blame because you were too busy to send up an alarm when he seemed happy.

Don’t be too quick to believe whatever else he has to say, and insist on relationship counselling, both together and apart.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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