Changing daily diet could eliminate husband’s nightly gas

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife says I fart when I sleep and she’s sick and tired of it and is moving next door to the guest bedroom. We have only been married part of a year. We had sex before we were married but she always had to go home after. My bedroom was my place to relax and do anything I wanted. I didn’t even think a person could fart when they slept. I thought you had to decide to do it and push.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/10/2017 (2925 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife says I fart when I sleep and she’s sick and tired of it and is moving next door to the guest bedroom. We have only been married part of a year. We had sex before we were married but she always had to go home after. My bedroom was my place to relax and do anything I wanted. I didn’t even think a person could fart when they slept. I thought you had to decide to do it and push.

Not My Fault, St. Vital

Dear Not My Fault: Don’t waste time arguing over whether you do it on purpose or not. It’s something you just need to fix. Sleeping apart is not a good thing, especially when you’re newlyweds trying to create a strong marriage that will last.

Did you really think your every fart was by choice? Doctors confirm you can definitely expel gas involuntarily when you sleep. Also, different things can push on your insides, such as rolling over in bed or a sudden change of position. Outside the bedroom, it can happen when you walk or run or even just to bend down to tie your shoes.

What you can do to control excess gas is watch your diet. Eat less spicy foods and vegetables such as cabbage, broccoli and onions. And then there’s beans, a well-known troublemaker. Some people take the product Gas-X on occasion if they know they’re going to eat gas-causing foods, but your situation is disruptive and you should see a physician.

Find out what foods cause you problems and take the list to your doctor. Be honest about the serious problem you’re having with your wife over the issue. You should apologize to her and make a plan to get this under control ASAP so you can stay in the same bedroom.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 16 and so bored living in the suburbs I think I’m going to lose my mind. I went downtown with a friend of mine and we were supposed to meet some of his friends, who sounded a little bit sketchy, but at least they sounded interesting. 

They didn’t show up in the end. When I got home I told my sister, who told my mother, who cornered me and now I’m not allowed to go downtown unless I’m with a family member or a school group or something. My mother actually asked if I’m into drug dealing and why I would be going to meet sketchy strangers downtown.

I’ll tell you why: I’m going out of my skull here. I want some action. I used to love sports, but I’m not growing much and ending up too short to be the star of anything. I don’t like being mediocre. If I can’t win it, I’m not in it. I’m sick of being the little guy other guys pat on the head.

Need Some Real Action, Winnipeg

Dear Need Some Real Action: You’re not going to suddenly be considered a big guy if you associate with sketchy types. They’ll see you as easy to dominate and beat up if you don’t do their dirty work (if they actually are into that sort of thing). Sports are a better bet if you crave excitement, but you have to pick the right ones. You don’t have to be tall to be the star of a soccer team or a champion wrestler. And then there’s winter sports. You could be a good snow boarder, skier or competitive curler. Let the excitement of competing and winning push you to excellence in one or two sports.

Going downtown to look for trouble is just unintelligent. Did you actually ask the guy who was taking you downtown to meet these guys if he knew exactly who they were, if they were part of a gang and what they were up to? Be glad they didn’t show up.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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