End annual Halloween hexes from disgruntled ex

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/10/2017 (3188 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-girlfriend is still angry and obsessed with me, and every Halloween she lays something nasty at my door. She fancies she’s a witch, but she’s just a stupid young woman who can’t get what she wants. Last year it was a fake raven and the year before it was a dead mouse that her cat probably caught, and before that a cup of red ink to look like blood. It’s all so stupid!

This year the thought of her coming into my yard again really infuriates me. I know that’s exactly what she wants: to freak me out and focus my attention on her again. What can I do?

— Sickened By the Witch, West End

Dear Sickened by the Witch: Ignoring her isn’t working and the doorstep gifts have escalated. Phone her up today and ruin this year’s project. If you get her, or even a member of her family on the phone, tell them about the last Halloweens and that you’ll be calling the police this year if it happens again. Hang a bright light or motion light above the step or even a security camera if you can afford one. Now you’re in charge. She has been counting on your fear and interest; instead, show authority aimed at her foolishness.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a boyfriend with dark green eyes, a ponytail and a big beard. Sometimes he wears his hair in a man bun. So what! When I brought him home, my father was cold to him to the point of rude. My boyfriend said he wouldn’t go back and put up with more of that since he was polite, smiled and offered his hand to shake. My dad just looked at his hand and turned away.

I won’t be giving up my boyfriend until the day he gives me up because I respect, love and admire him. I may even marry him one day. But what should I do with my father? Don’t tell me to talk to my mother. I already did, and she said she wouldn’t go against my father even if he was wrong and rude. She said she would stand behind him because that’s what marriage is about. 

I said: “You don’t have a mind of your own, even when he’s in the wrong?” and she said, “I support him fully in all things,” and walked out of the room. I lost respect for both of my parents in one fell swoop. I’m 19, in university, have my own part-time job and could move out with my friends who have a place and an extra bedroom. Should I?

— So Disgusted With Them, Winnipeg

Dear So Disgusted With Them: Don’t move out yet. It would be worth it to work on your parents a little bit, as it’s a long life away from people you love if you turn against them for good. Do keep seeing your boyfriend, but don’t bring him home for a while when your father is there. Let the boyfriend come over with you unexpectedly, and show your mother what a great guy he is when your father isn’t home. There is an old-world saying that goes: “The husband is the head of the family, and the wife is the neck that turns the head.”

If your mother is also rude to him, and there is no softening on your dad’s part, then save up some money for rent, food and tuition and move in with your friends.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m madly in love with the wrong person. I should be crazy about my boyfriend, but when my roommate brought home her new guy, something happened inside. He didn’t have to open his mouth. I managed to get out a quick hello and took off to my room and sat there shaking. I knew him when he was a kid in junior high and I had the worst crush on him. Every time I saw him, my face turned red. He recognized me and gave me a slow sexy smile and nodded his head. I felt sick. Now he’s all I think about again. I don’t know what to do.

— In a Flap, Downtown

Dear In a Flap: Try talking to him. If you’re lucky he’ll turn out to be an oaf. Your initial crush had nothing to do with talking and now this crush doesn’t either. Once he talks and the mystery is gone, it can go one of two ways: you will lose interest when you know the real him, or you will fall harder and have to move out in fairness to your roommate. She won’t be upset you’re leaving if you confess to her you want her boyfriend.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been out with this attractive older woman a few times now, and she has said some things half-jokingly about herself, as in “In my life, a day without wine is a day without sunshine.” I’ve never seen her when we weren’t drinking at some point. She also mentioned she likes a little of this, that and the other thing when she goes to a party.

The first night we went out I was quite tickled with her and I told her she was something special. She replied half-jokingly that I caught her on a good night because she wasn’t hungover, and then she laughed. I haven’t had anybody for a while and so far she’s been lots of fun. What do you think?

— A Bit Worried, St. Boniface

Dear A Bit Worried: Get out of there, my friend. Before there are emotional ties, a person will often tell the truth about themselves, hoping their dates are so excited about meeting someone they will overlook anything negative. That includes hints about alcohol, drugs, a temper, violence, being a poor parent, not holding jobs, etc. Take the first warnings seriously.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography