Show your wife you’re a real Superman in costume

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This article was published 30/10/2017 (3261 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife loves Halloween and I have been a real crank and a bore every other year on Oct 31. I am afraid I’ve been losing her the last few months. What do you think if I put on Superman costume, light some of her goofy candles and surprise her in the bedroom as a super hero? I already bought the costume and it’s in my trunk and I kind of feel like Clark Kent driving around. I guess I’m getting in the spirit. Please put this in your column ASAP so I know if I should do it today or on the actual night.

— Clark Kent, Fort Garry

Dear Clark Kent: Do it tonight, just before Halloween, so she doesn’t have to drag through Halloween with the old you. Do the Superman scene early and she will be jazzed when the two of you are giving out treats together at the door on Tuesday. Prepping someone with an extended disappointment before a reward is a bad idea.

That’s like people having a birthday who get the impression their nearest and dearest are not going to remember and celebrate it. The sensitive ones can be depressed the days before, and then people pop up with a big surprise and a party on real day.

The person celebrating the birthday goes from a low of disappointment to a burst of excitement and often ends up crying because of the difference in emotions. Instead, you would be smart to show her a wonderful time before she’s disappointed, and then the two of you can fly through Halloween as a happy couple. Tell her you have changed your attitude, and to get ready for a surprise from you this year. Help her buy more candy and bring it home in your bag, even maybe some decorations! It won’t cost you much and it will be a big investment in your love life. You may even have genuine fun!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a $20 bill on the ground and was putting it in my pocket when my girlfriend said I was a thief for taking it. I took the money back out of my pocket and threw it right back on the ground. Then she asked what was going to happen to it. I told her that someone else was going to pick it up, obviously. “Who cares? It doesn’t belong to me, as you pointed out,” and I walked to the bus and left her there with her car to get back to her house. Now she won’t talk to me. What should I do? This is the same type of thing that happens over and over again.

— Hung Out to Dry by Her, Transcona

Dear Hung Out to Dry by Her: Maybe she’s made this decision for you. All you have to do is not phone her again. She can call you, and try to make amends. But, maybe, it’s best if she doesn’t call. She sounds like a difficult girlfriend. Nobody needs to choose a difficult person, nor should they go ahead and marry one. Now is the time to back out: the straw that breaks the camel’s back can be a wonderful thing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m ready to blow up! My mother is driving me crazy, but it isn’t the kind of crazy people can see. She’s nice to the public and the neighbours, but she’s mean inside the house. No one outside the house believes she is such a nasty (witch) to her kids. She makes it so miserable for the family, none of my older siblings come over. I’m the only daughter who still speaks to her because I am still young and captive at home. I’m ready to take off to live with my sister. I don’t want to leave a human totally all alone in this world, but I’m tempted to do it because she just asks for it. What do you think?

— Pulling My Hair Out, St. Vital

Dear Pulling My Hair Out: People in your situation must deal with the abusive behaviour inside the house and the disbelief from all the people outside the house who don’t see it. Please write back about your sister’s living situation and other possible places for you to live, such as an aunt or grandmother’s house. This is a very tricky problem, and needs some advice from people who have gone through it. There are many people who have lived through this and dealt with it, and I invite them to write in. No two solutions will be the same, but you might see something that would work for you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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